Page 16 of Ride or Die
“Cali, I want to apologize to you. Nothing I say will change the choices I made when we were younger, but it’s something I’ve regretted every single day since.” I didn’t anticipate this conversation happening so soon.
“Then why didn’t you call, or hell, even text?” It comes out harsher than I intend but my heart is still bruised.
“I was so ashamed of myself. Then it got to the point where I didn’t think you would even want to hear from me. I was young and stupid, and I had no idea what I was doing. As a result, I lost the best thing that ever happened to me,” he explains. “I’ve let a lot of time go wasted. I can’t change what I did, but if you’ll let me, if you’ll give me the chance, I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you for however long you’ll have me.”
A flood of emotions washes over me and I’m suddenly not hungry anymore.
“Cali,” he whispers my name and I peer at him over my shoulder. “What do you think?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ll need time to think about it.”
“Of course. I don’t want to rush anything. Take your time. Just,” he pauses. “Thank you.”
“For what?” I look at him confused. I’ve never seen him like this. He’s changed quite a bit since I last saw him. Naturally, the waitress chooses this moment to bring out our food. I turn away from them, afraid tears will fall from my eyes.
“For this. For having dinner with me,” he says once the waitress walks away. He glances down for a second. “I’m sorry if I’m being too blunt. If I’ve learned anything in the last few years, it’s that time is valuable and I’ve already wasted too much without you.”
“I truly appreciate the bluntness, even if it’s a lot to take in. It’s just, you leaving,” I try to find the right words to say next and word vomit. “You broke me when you left. You didn’t call, text, nothing. At first, I wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe you were in an accident, maybe you were with another girl. After a couple of days of not hearing from you, I reached out to Ellie and she told me you moved away. I had to play it off like I knew and like our breakup was mutual. Meanwhile, I was dying on the inside. You had been my best friend since I moved here. You have had my heart since not long after. And you just left.”
Tears are pouring down my cheeks. I didn’t want him to see me cry, but there was no stopping it.
“Cali.”
I put my hand up, stopping him. “Don’t, Ryan. I appreciate you apologizing but I need time.”
I stand to leave and he stands too. He looks me in the eye and it’s like he’s staring into my soul.
He nods. “Take your time,Sólnyshka.”
I turn and walk away before he sees more tears fall. I make it all the way back to my apartment before I completely fall apart.
11
Buster
WatchingCali walk away as upset as she was was hard as fuck. I would have gone after her if I hadn’t agreed to give her time. I didn’t expect her to leave like that, but I also didn’t intend to have that conversation so soon. I couldn’t help it, I needed to apologize and I didn’t understand the can of worms that would open.
I knew I hurt her when I left, but seeing the hurt on her face today cut deep. I get a box for the uneaten pizza and pay my tab. The waitress smiles at me, trying to get my attention. I ignore her and walk out of the pizza shop, walking right to A Novel Bunch. I walk in and Sketch is standing at the counter talking to the baristas. Their smiles fall when I walk in.
“Anyone want some pizza?” I give a fake laugh. I walk to the table closest to me and let myself fall into the chair.
“That bad, huh?” Sketch sits across from me.
“What happened, Buster?” That comes from Wren.
“I fucked up. I knew I hurt her when I left, but I didn’t understand how bad I had hurt her.”
“I’m going to be one hundred percent honest with you,” the other girl, I’m pretty sure her name is Emma, says. “I don’t think she ever stopped loving you. You showing up like you did, opened old wounds. Give her a couple of days.”
Sketch flips open the pizza box and grabs a piece, leaving it open. He’s trying to be stealthy, but I spot him watching Wren. She turns to me but before she can say anything, gunshots ring out and glass shatters.
“Get down,” I shout, pulling my gun out before I hit the floor. Sketch grabs Wren, pulling her to the ground and shielding her. I look toward the front window in time to see a white van driving away. “Son of a bitch.”
“Where is Calina,” a man with a thick Russian accent asks. I jump up off the floor.
“She left to go home about ten minutes ago,” I respond, leaving out how upset she was. It’s best not to get on this guy’s bad side. “Emma, are you alright?”
“I think so,” she says on a shaky breath, still hiding behind the counter.
