Page 32 of Hit and Run
"It's River," he says.
"River," I try it out on my tongue. "I like that." He smiles at me like he likes hearing me say it.
"So, I told you before that my Pops was controlling and an alcoholic. He's a high functioning alcoholic, so most people would never notice if he was drunk. He had his signs and I learned them quick. What I didn't tell you, and what Wren doesn't know, is he used to use me as his personal punching bag," he admits to me. "He wouldn't ever touch me if Wren or my Mom were home, so when they asked, I would tell them I got in a fight with someone from school. Then when he got tired of them fussing over me all the time, he got smarter about it and wouldn't leave marks where they could see."
"Oh my God, Shade. That's awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that." I put my hand on his arm. He glances at my hand and gives me a small smile.
"That's the thing. I could have left well before I turned 18, but I was too worried he would turn his anger toward Mom or Wren," he tells me. "But because I stayed as long as I did, Wren became the golden child. He doted on her and my mom both."
"You stayed to protect Wren," I say in awe. "And she has no idea."
He shakes his head. "Not a clue. In her eyes, he was the greatest dad ever. I never wanted to commit to one woman, in fear that I would turn out just like him. I very rarely drink either."
"You're not like him though. He has evilness in him that even after the way he was toward you, never touched you," I tell him. "As much as you protected Wren, and wanted to protect me from Zack's disrespect, there's so much more good in you."
"Thank you for saying that." He brings my hand to his mouth, kissing my palm.
"I guess it's my turn to open up, huh?" I give a nervous giggle.
"Please don't feel like you have to. Honestly, it's okay," he assures me.
"No, I want to. Which is odd in itself because I'veneverwanted to talk about this with anyone. It's just . . . hard," I admit.
He squeezes my hand. "Take as long as you need to," he tells me.
I take a deep breath. "My dad walked out on my Mom and me when I was two. She got remarried when I was 10 to a guy named Ron. He had a son a year older than me named Damien. The first few years they were married, everything was great. We were one big, happy family. When I turned 13, I was a bit more developed than other girls my age," I tell him. Shade is trying really hard to stay calm. "Ron and Damien were constantly commenting on my body. To the point where my Mom was getting jealous of the things Ron was saying to me. She started to resent me, no matter how much I tried to tell her I didn't like it or that I wanted him to stop. One night when I was 15, Damien came into my room. He had been out with friends and had been drinking. He started touching me and when I tried to stop him, he threatened to put me in the hospital if I didn't do what he wanted."
I pause, giving myself a moment to breathe. Tears are streaming down my face.
"Sienna, you don't have to tell me anymore," Shade tells me.
"I need to get it all out," I say. He nods, and I continue. "He ended up raping me that night. A couple of nights later, my mom was out with friends. Ron came into my room. He said something about how Damien told him how easily I gave it up to him and he wanted a turn. For the next two years, they both came into my room every couple of weeks to take what they wanted. I somehow managed to graduate a year early and left home without telling anyone."
As soon as I finish talking, Shade pulls me into his lap and hugs me. I break and sob into his chest. He holds me a little tighter until I start to calm down. I pull away from him, wiping tears off my cheeks. He cups my face with his hand.
"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about your past," he says, breaking the silence. Little by little, Shade is chipping away at the wall around my heart. I lean into his touch.
“You make me want to try being in a relationship too,” I admit to him, referring to what he said to me Saturday night. A fire ignites in his eyes and the corner of his mouth lifts into that sexy smirk of his. He leans in and kisses me. It’s a simple kiss that causes butterflies in my stomach. He pulls me into him so my head is resting on his chest and turns on a show about cars. As I start to doze off, he kisses the top of my head.
“Sleep sweet, Whiskey,” he whispers so softly I think I imagine it. It’s the last thing I hear before sleep completely takes over.
18
Shade
I turnedon a show I knew Sienna wouldn’t want to watch because I could tell she was tired. I didn’t expect her to have such a fucked up past. It’s a lot for one person to bear. I don’t know how she’s kept it bottled up for so long without imploding on herself. I have a newfound respect for her, more so than before.
I’m oblivious to the TV because I’ve been watching Sienna instead. I lightly trace my fingers across her back as she sleeps. She has an adorable pout that makes me curious what she’s dreaming about. I’m completely captivated by this woman. The front door opens, breaking me out of my trance.
“Oh, hey Shade,” Cali says.
“Hey, brother! How did . . .” Buster pauses when he sees Sienna asleep on my chest. Cali walks closer and her eyes go wide. Buster grins. “What’s going on here?”
“Fuck off, Buster,” I whisper-shout at him. He chuckles. Cali glances from Sienna to me.
“Is this Sienna? Isn’t she your sister’s best friend? What did I miss,” Cali questions.
“It’s a long story and it’s been a long night. I’ll explain everything tomorrow,” I tell her.
