Page 52 of The Love Lie
When he described her as a tornado on that first day, he had no idea how accurate the choice of words would be. The woman is lethal. Two rounds with her and he’s toast. He might not survive a third—but he’s definitely tempted to try.
I can think of far worse ways to go.
“Hey, Coop?”
The hesitancy in her voice stirs concern. “Yeah, darlin’?”
He shifts enough to look down at her. She turns and settles her chin on her folded hands to meet his gaze.
“Our original rules are sort of null at this point, right?”
“I’d say we did a pretty thorough job of tossing them out the window.”
“Right. So… Can I ask you something? Personal, I mean. Before we go our separate ways.”
A heavy thud ricochets across his chest. The fact that she’s lying in his arms already thinking about goodbye cuts like a knife, especially when he’s been lying here marveling at how maddeningly content he feels. But he knows her well enough to know that saying any of that aloud will just trigger her flight response. She doesn’t afford him many peeks behind her walls. He has to take any glimpse he can.
“Ask away.”
“When your mom was sick…”
His heart seizes at the lead-in, but he keeps his face blank, trying not to let the ache show. He doesn’t want to scare her off.
“Did you tell her you were scared? Or did you put on a brave face? Did you feel like no matter how upset you got or how weak you felt or how helpless you were, she could never, ever know? Like everything else was out of your control, but this one little thing as simple as smiling even when you wanted to scream was all you had to offer?”
He can tell by her tone his answer holds more meaning than she’s trying to let on, so he thinks it over for a moment, choosing his words carefully.
“Yes and no,” he finally tells her. “There were times when I had to be strong, had to hide my feelings. When she didn’t recognize me or thought I was a nurse or she was in some other place where I couldn’t follow, it helped if I stayed neutral until the episode passed. So even if it felt like it was killing me, I stayed calm and collected. I kept my emotions under control so they wouldn’t confuse her or make her spiral any further. But when she was lucid, when she was present in this time and knew I was her son, then no. I didn’t try to hide anything. I wouldn’t have been able to even if I tried. My mother could always read me like a book. We cried together. We laughed through the tears.She gave me a good smack on the side of the head if required. I think it helped her to be the strong one sometimes, to not only be comforted but to be the one doing the comforting, to feel like even in that somewhat broken state she was still needed.”
He watches her retreat inward, vision clouding until she’s no longer with him but back in her memories somewhere. A shadow passes over her eyes. Frown lines etch into her brow. He brushes his thumb over her shoulder blade, drawing her back.
“Why are you asking me?”
She swallows, licks her lips.
Come on, Sam. Give me something. Give me one little piece of you.
“Who was sick?” he presses, and as soon as he says it, something clicks. Conversations with Sam. Conversations with her sister. The hints and the half-truths merge to paint a picture. It all becomes clear. “It was Emily, wasn’t it? Emily got sick.”
She looks at him sharply.
Fear cuts across her eyes, but there’s something else playing deep in those golden depths, softening the blade—relief.
Still, she remains frozen in his arms. He pulls her closer, as if he can force all the heat beneath his skin to melt into hers.
“You can tell me,” he murmurs.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not my story to tell.”
“Bullshit.”
“Coop—”
“Bull. Shit,” he repeats, prompting a glare. But the fire igniting in her eyes only prods him on. “Of course it’s your story. You think my mom dying wasn’t part of my story? Sure, she was the one who was sick. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t affected. It changed every facet of my life. I’m not asking what Emily had orhas or what her diagnosis is. I’m asking about you. How you felt. What you went through. What you’re clearly still going through.”
