Page 54 of The Love Dare
“Really?” A self-satisfied smirk pulls at his cheeks and she instantly regrets it.
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
“Too late.” He wraps his strong arms around her and holds her firmly against his chest, looking down at her with a soft adoration she’s never seen painted across his chiseled featuresbefore. Then he nuzzles his face into the nape of her neck and whispers, “You love me.”
“I do,” she responds, just as softly.
“I want to hear you say it again.”
She leans back. “I love you.”
He pauses a beat, glancing between her eyes as the air around them settles into something heavier, more serious. “I love you, too.”
“How?” The word is out before she can stop it, a champagne cork popping as her deepest, darkest fears bubble up from inside of her, bursting the moment.
He groans.
“It kills me that you’re even asking, that you don’t see how amazing you are, that you—” He breaks off as his brows gather into a deep frown. “God, you have no idea how many times I wanted to just pulverize those assholes from your school.”
“Why didn’t you?”
It’s a bit of a trick question. She’s glad he didn’t beat anyone up on her behalf, but it’s a good excuse to figure out his hierarchy, to understand where she stands on the list of motivations. That’s the real question, after all, hanging over this entire conversation.
He may think he loves her. She may eventually believe it.
But can he ever love herenough?
“The team, mostly,” he explains. “I knew I’d get kicked off, and I couldn’t risk losing hockey. Plus, your dad would’ve been really disappointed in me. I wouldn’t have done that to him after everything he did for me. Alex probably wouldn’t have cared, though some of his friends might’ve gotten pissed. His parties would have been a lot more awkward for me, that’s for sure. And, obviously, it wouldn’t have helped you. It would have helped me feel better, but in the long run, it probably would have just made things worse for you.”
And there it is.
Winnie sighs. She’s probably being too hard on him. Everything he said is accurate. She doesn’t fault him for it. It’s notwhathe said that gives her pause—it’s how he said it. First, hockey. Then her dad. Then her brother. Then her, all the way at the end, the afterthought.
It’s what she most fears.
Maybe Sam was right when she accused her of self-sabotage, but she was wrong about thewhy. It’s not because Winnie was always leaving the door open for Ty. It’s because she was leaving it open for herself—to run through, to run out. Her hope has always been a weapon used against her. It’s easier to have none at all, to pick guys who can never give her the happy ending she craves, rather than face that sharp disappointment of her own naive optimism slapping her upside the face.
“What?” he asks, suddenly intent. She’s never had a good poker face. “What’d I say?”
“Nothing.”
She shirks the question and his hold, doing what she does best—retreating. But he follows her to the sofa and sits next to her, turning his whole body toward her, not letting her escape as he takes her hand in his and threads their fingers together.
“Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s not wrong. It’s just—” She sighs. “I don’t want to be last on your list.”
God, she sounds like a petulant child. But he must understand what she’s really saying, because the gears still as his lips settle into a grim line.
“I know you love my brother,” she tries to explain. “And I know you love my dad. I love that you love them. But I can’t always come after them, not if you’re the person I’m going to be with. I need to be your person if this is ever going to work. And I just— I just don’t know that I ever will be. That’s why I never toldyou how I felt, why I probably never would have if Sam hadn’t worked her voodoo magic to get me on this show. I don’t want to come last, Ty. I can’t.”
“Look, Win—” He scrubs a hand through his hair as his features pull tight. The longer the silence extends, the stronger the flurry in her gut becomes, the burning in her chest. “I’m not going to lie to you,” he finally says as he runs his thumb over the ridges of her knuckles. “You didn’t come first. You were always there, always in my head and in my heart, but you’re right. You didn’t come first. And I’m sorry for that, but you have to understand, I was the kid whose dad never wanted him, whose grandparents turned their back on him, whose life had no stability. And then I met your dad. I met your brother. Suddenly, I had these two people who saw worth in me, who believed in me, who wanted to support me. There was a time when I couldn’t have existed outside of them, when I would have been completely lost without them. But I’m not that scared little boy anymore. I will always love them, but I’m not afraid to lose them the way I once was. I’m afraid to lose you. I loveyou. And I should have told you this the second you said the words to me, but my brain just couldn’t catch up. And then you were gone. And I let the producers pull me into their games. I know I messed up. I know this is late, but I love you. I really do. I always have. And now I’m completely and utterly terrified that you’ll never believe me.”
She looks down at her lap, hating the sudden jerk her heart makes. “I’m not sure I will.”
“Think about it, Win.” He squeezes her fingers, silently begging her to look up. The emotion in his brilliant eyes makes her pulse race. “Really think about it. Please. Why else would I look for you in the stands at the start of every single one of my games?”
“Because it was nice to see someone wearing your jersey?”
