Page 98 of The Love Dare
Quick as her transformation came, it’s gone, like a mask sliding back into place, as if the person Winnie knew was just a role she sometimes liked to play. Cynthia’s expression softens. Her eyes clear. Hurt etches itself into her features.
“Aren’t you happy for me?” she asks, vulnerable and uncertain. “Iwas happy foryou.I thought we were friends, Win.”
“Don’t call me that,” Winnie snaps, the sound of her nickname like a slap to the face. Only people she loves are allowed to call her that.
“What?” Cynthia frowns, unable to completely hide the twinkle in her eye as the punch lands. “Win?”
Winnie stares dumbstruck at the goading gleam in Cynthia’s gaze, struggling to understand where it came from, why it’s there, how someone she once called a friend is actually doing this to her right now.
Part of her wants to yell and scream and rage, to demand answers, even though she knows nothing Cynthia says could ever make this okay.
Part of her is too hurt to speak.
And part of her finally sees the truth.
All her life, Winnie thought it was her own weaknesses staring back at her every time she met a bully’s gaze. But looking at Cynthia now, she realizes, it was never a reflection she wasseeing. It was never her own vulnerabilities, her own hurt, her own fears pinging back at her. It was theirs. Eyes, after all, aren’t a mirror—they’re a window. And she doesn’t know how it’s taken her twenty-five years to realize that, but in this instant, it’s never been clearer. Cynthia’s got her own demons. Beneath the vicious zeal lighting her golden eyes lies a deep-seated pain she doesn’t know how to face. And if Winnie dug deep, she might find answers. She might even be able to help. But frankly, she doesn’t care enough about Cynthia to even try, not anymore, not after what she’s done. The reason Cynthia behaved this way has nothing to do with Winnie, and that’s all Winnie needs to know.
She’s not broken.
She never has been.
Sure, she likes to keep an open mind and an open heart. And yes, sometimes that leaves her open to pain as well. But caging herself in, running from the world, that’s not the answer.
Maybe shedidpick wrong when it came to Cynthia.
Maybe itisbiting her in the ass right now.
But that’s Cynthia’s cross to bear. It doesn’t mean Winnie shouldn’t trust herself. She can. Shedoes, especially when it comes to Tyler.
“I’m glad you had fun,” Winnie says pleasantly, giving nothing away. For once in her life, her blank look isn’t contrived or painted on or carefully crafted to hide the bleeding. She actually doesn’t give a fuck what Cynthia has to say, because she finally sees it for the bullshit it’s always been. None of it has the power to hurt her.
“You are?” Cynthia frowns. Cracks fracture across her irises, providing glimpses of the doubts and anger and insecurities hiding underneath. Worry pulls at her lips.
She’s yearning for this scene, this made-for-TV moment, this time to shine.
She needs it.
Well, screw that.
“Of course,” Winnie says with a shrug.
Cynthia sputters. “But—but?—”
“I’m gonna go get ready for the puzzle ceremony.”
Winnie turns around, not bothering to look back. On her way to her room, she catches Nina’s eyes. The woman is inscrutable, not an ounce of emotion on her face. There’s no way to know how much she was involved, but it doesn’t matter. It was enough. Someone helped Cynthia stay this long. Someone made sure Charlotte and Harper were the first of their little group to leave. And someone is standing by right now, keeping the cameras rolling, wanting, hoping, praying the worst parts of Winnie will come out to play.
Tough shit.
Standing up for herself doesn’t need to be loud. It doesn’t need to be screaming and yelling and pushing and shoving and any number of things Nina is waiting with bated breath to capture. It’s all been leading up to this moment—one last chance for that desired showdown they can tease the viewers with all season. Every taunt, every goading comment, all the ploys, all the plots, all the deals, all to try to push Winnie into biting back. But sometimes silence is the most ear-splitting sound of all. So, despite the urge to stop, look Nina in the eyes, and yell,IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT?, Winnie just steps calmly by.
There’s a difference between running and walking away. She sees that now. And she’s perfectly content to let her indifference do the talking. If these people want some big, crazy scene, they’re going to have to find another puppet.
I’m done dancing, Winnie thinks.
Then her mind flashes back to that night with Ty in the dream suite, and that hungry look in his eyes as she pulled her dress provocatively up her swaying hips.
A smirk curves her lips.
