Page 32 of A Ferry Merry Christmas
Beth kept a close eye on Olivia as her daughter bounced around the deck, visiting with passengers here and there. Because she was naturally open and friendly, people responded with smiles and short conversations.
Even though they hadn’t talked much, she noticed a marked difference in Logan after he answered a text. She couldn’t see what was said and mentally chastised herself for sneaking a peek. It seemed like it had something to do with the sale of his motorcycle.
Looking up from his phone, Logan centered his focus on Olivia, briefly smiled, and said, “She’s really something, isn’t she?”
Her daughter was the very light that brightened Beth’s world. “She is,” Beth agreed, “and like you in so many ways.”
“Me?” Logan challenged with a short, disbelieving laugh.
“You don’t see it?” Beth had a hard time not recognizing Logan’s qualities in their child. “She’s intelligent . . .”
Her husband snickered. “You seem to forget I didn’t have the smarts to graduate from college.”
“You took the courses that most interested you, though.”
“They were tough. I knew next to nothing about marketing and management . . . I don’t know if I’d have stuck it out if not for you.”
Beth denied that with a sharp shake of her head. “I don’t believe that for a minute. Your mind was set to make the best of each class long before we met. Most likely you were bored in high school, which is why you received such poor grades.”She didn’t know that for a fact, although it made sense. Logan was a whiz with numbers and excelled in all his math classes. His hope was one day to start his own construction company. Life, however, had gotten in the way. That dream must feel impossible in their current situation.
“I always found it difficult to sit still,” he elaborated. “Most of the subjects we studied didn’t interest me in the least. All I ever wanted was . . .”
“Was what?” she pressed when he paused mid-sentence.
A long moment passed before he continued. “To make a good living and support a family,” he said, lowering his head and his voice until it was little more than a whisper.
Logan had his dreams, ones he rarely spoke of any longer, which broke her heart. His dreams seemed to have wilted and died inside of him.
“Working construction is nothing to be ashamed of,” Beth said, upset that he would downplay his skills.
“When there’s work, you mean.”
“We’re getting off the subject,” Beth said, disliking the path their conversation was heading in. “We were talking about Olivia, remember.”
“Right.”
“You’re good with your hands and so is she. Olivia loves puzzles. I had one of those complicated five-hundred-piece ones out on the dining room table. It was a Christmas scene of the manger with Joseph, Mary, baby Jesus, and all the barn animals, with angels looking down on them. Five hundred small pieces. Olivia worked on it nearly every day after school. I was afraid it would be too hard for her, but she insisted she could do it and she did.”
“She completed the puzzle?”
“Not yet. I’ll admit, though, that she’s found more pieces than I have by two to one. She gets her patience and persistence from you, Logan.”
He responded with a fleeting smile, and then he quickly drew serious. “I’ve missed being with her, seeing her bright smile every day.”
Beth bit back the urge to remind him that he was the one who chose to leave. He faithfully spent time with Olivia every other Saturday, unless he was working, and called often to speak to her. It wasn’t the same, though, as him coming home each night, sharing the everyday nuances of their daughter’s life. And hers, too.
She realized their real problem was the lack of communication. When she hid her parents’ financial help, that had served to feed Logan’s feelings of inadequacy. Instead of the two of them talking it out, coming to a solution together to repay her family, she’d cooked his favorite meals and did all she could to pretend everything was normal. She wasn’t the only one at fault. Logan had clammed up, becoming uncommunicative. How she wished things could be different.
“That friendly nature she has is all you,” Logan said, interrupting her thoughts. “She’s never met a stranger, has she?”
“No, never,” Beth agreed.
Currently Olivia was visiting with Virginia, excitedly telling the older woman how much everyone enjoyed Virginia’s cookies. The two of them were close enough for Beth to hear snatches of the conversation. The grandmother was telling Olivia that she had a granddaughter around Olivia’s age and that she was taking the ferry to visit her twin sister. Olivia immediately had questions about her sister. There were a pair of twins in her class at school, a boy and a girl.
Logan must have caught part of the conversation, too. “Listen, I probably should have said something earlier.”
“About?”
He hesitated. “I appreciate the invite, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to join you and your parents for Christmas. They might say they are okay with me joining you. That’s just the kind of family you have; they are a blessing, but I’d feel out of place and weird dropping by . . . I don’t belong, Beth. I’m sorry, I really am.”
