Page 61 of The Butterfly
“We will be ruined,” Lady Janet Pleasance chimed in, sitting up a bit straighter in her chair. “You all realize that, do you not? Those of us who were not fortunate to find men willing to marry us will not have the same protection they do. Those of us who might have gone on to make matches will face eternal spinsterhood, ostracism at the hands of our peers. They will shun us, gossip about it, blameus.”
“Is that not always the way of it?” Lady Cassandra spat. “The men do whatever they want to us, and not only must we accept it, but we are also to carry the blame for their indiscretion and cruelty!”
“I do not care,” Lady Matilda Parham declared, coming to her feet, as well. “There are only six of us here, but we all know there are others. There might be other children out there, as well. And, may I remind you that each Season brings a new crop of debutantes into our midst? Will we stand back and allow them to become prey, as we once were?”
“Lord Fairchild has been ruined,” Lord Parham, Matilda’s husband, spoke up. “The rumors about him have spread like a plague, and no respectable home will have him. That’s enough to keep the debutantes out of his reach, at least.”
Lady Parham glared at her husband. “I will not take any chances. You may count upon me, Lady Olivia. I will testify, freely and gladly!”
“And so will I,” Lady Lily Kirby said. “I have not been fortunate enough to find a man I trust enough to divulge what has happened to me like some of you. I do not know if revealing what I endured to the world will prevent me from finding a husband … but, I do know that I’d never wish to wed a man who could so callously blame a woman for circumstances outside her control. So, I do not care if any of those pompous lords do not wish to marry me when this has been done. I would rather live the rest of my life a childless spinster than take the chance that Bertram might prey upon another young lady.”
Lady Janet nodded, slowly, as if coming to terms with what they would do as she spoke. “You are right, of course. It will be an honor to stand with such brave women against our common enemy.”
“Thank you all,” Daphne said, turning to give little smiles to each of the women. “You are to be commended for your courage and resolve. I know that together, we have what is necessary to ensure Bertram is prosecuted.”
Her excitement was palpable and spreading through the room like wildfire. Even Olivia felt a bit giddy as she realized how easily Bertram could now be made to pay for his crimes.
It wasn’t until Lady Cassandra spoke that Olivia realized she was the only woman in the room not smiling. She was the only woman in the room who had not spoken in several minutes … the only one who had not agreed to testify.
“Where were you? Where wereany of youwhen I thought that I was the only one—when I thought I would carry the shame of it on my own for the rest of my life?”
The others in the room exchanged shocked glances, a few frowning as if in disapproval of Cassandra’s remarks. Olivia stepped toward the girl, hands outstretched.
“I understand the way you felt, Lady Cassandra. I think it is safe to say that we all do.”
Cassandra recoiled, upper lip curling, blue eyes flashing pure, unfettered rage. “You …youabove the rest of them ought to know what I refer to. Your first Season was also my first … before me, there was you. I thought I was alone, butyou knew. You knew what he was, and when he had finished with you, you stood back and let him have me!”
Daphne drew in a sharp breath while Lady Parham clapped a hand over her mouth in shock. Niall came thundering across the room, hands clenched, face stretched into an expression not unlike Cassandra’s disdainful one.
“You’ll want t’ be careful how ye speak to her,” he growled, shouldering his way between them. “Ye dinnae know anythin’ about her or what she knew or wanted!”
Placing a gentle hand upon his arm, Olivia urged him to back away, peering at Lady Cassandra, who had shrunk swiftly back from Niall. Eyes wide with terror, she looked ready to collapse on the spot, the bravado of her anger slipping away to reveal a scared girl. Niall was oblivious to the fear he’d caused, intent only upon defending her. While Olivia appreciated his unwavering loyalty, she also pitied and understood Cassandra. There had been a time a man’s raised voice had been enough to send her spiraling, collapsing into herself, drowning in darkness.
“You are right,” she said.
Cassandra met her gaze, mouth falling open. “What?”
“I said, you are right about me. I knew what he was, and I even knew that you’d become his next conquest. Not long after he raped me, word of your new courtship began to spread. It reached me, even as I hid away from society. I knew who you were even though we’d never met, and I feared for you, but I … I was so distraught, and yes, afraid. I was afraid of what he might do. I am certain he threatened you just as he did me. I was afraid everyone would know, terrified of what my stepfather might say. But, that was no excuse. I have thought of you so often and regretted my decision not to reach out to you, to try to prevent what I knew he would do to you. Bertram and that nun from the asylum haunt me daily … you haunt me from time to time, as well. I know it might not make a difference to you after all that has happened, but please know how sorry I am. If I could change anything that has taken place after that awful night, it would be that I’d gone to you when I realized what he was up to and warned you. Perhaps I might have saved you, even when I could not save myself.”
Cassandra had begun trembling, wrapping her arms around herself as she tried to fight the tears brimming in her eyes. She failed, and the droplets came, running down her face, splashing her neck and chest.
“I’m so tired of being afraid,” she sobbed. “I can hardly walk alone without fearing every shadow from around every corner. I cannot close my eyes without seeing his face. Do any of you truly think testifying will stop that? Will it really help any of you sleep better at night? Because I can tell you, the odds are most certainly not inmyfavor.”
Olivia felt herself becoming teary-eyed again, her chest aching with pity for this woman. More than ever, she regretted her choice in hiding, in not running to Cassandra the moment she’d received word that Bertram had begun courting her.
“I would never ask you to do this if you did not wish to,” Daphne said. “There are more than enough ladies here willing to help, Lady Cassandra. I won’t speak for them, but I certainly will not begrudge you for feeling you cannot.”
“And neither will I,” Olivia agreed.
“I will not,” Lady Parham agreed.
Then, the others were chiming in, too, assuring Cassandra that it was all right, that they understood. That only made Cassandra cry all the harder, her body shaking so violently, it was a wonder she did not shatter into pieces.
Olivia skirted caution and approached, reaching out to hug the poor thing. To her surprise, Cassandra did not fight her, merely collapsing with another choked sob against her shoulder. The other woman was so much taller than her, it almost felt ridiculous trying to contain the storm of emotions ripping through her. Still, Olivia did her best.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, patting the girl’s back like she might Serena’s. “I am so sorry, Cassandra.”
Another figure appeared at Cassandra’s back—Lady Parham reaching out to put a hand upon her shoulder in a show of support. Then, Lady Kirby appeared with her hand upon the opposite shoulder. A hand touched Olivia’s back, then another, and before long, all five stood together with Olivia and Cassandra in their midst. As she looked up and met the gazes of those within her view, she saw the same fears and pain in their eyes that she felt coursing through Cassandra … but she also felt their determination. She only wished she could join them in what they were about to do.
