Page 25 of Tempting the Bluestocking
“Edward,” she replied, fighting to keep her voice neutral. “You wished to speak to me?”
He nodded, taking a few steps toward the stairs before halting as if uncertain. “If you’ll hear me out. It will only take a moment, I promise. When I’m finished, you are welcome to throw me out. Just…please listen to what I have to say.”
She traded glances with Helene, who gave an exaggerated shrug as if to say, ‘the devil if I know what you should do.’
Clare knew she had no choice but to speak with him. Words had flown between them so fast and without much thought the last time they spoke, and there were so many things to hash out. Most of all, she couldn’t stand to let him leave without finding out why he’d come. The wondering would drive her mad before long.
“Very well,” she said, gesturing for him to come upstairs.
His shoulders sagged as if in relief, and he climbed the steps, then preceded her into the study. Closing the door, Clare leaned against it and watched as Edward paced away from her, then back to the center of the room.
Running his fingers through his mussed hair, he heaved a sigh and plunged ahead. “Hypothesis: if a man loves a woman but is uncertain she feels the same, said man convinces himself he stands no chance for a real future with her. Conclusion: the man is an oblivious dolt.”
Her stomach began tying itself in knots, her mind latching onto the first words he’d said. It was a wonder she’d heard the rest of it, because that first declaration echoed and resounded through her with overwhelming force.
If a man loves a woman…
“I’m sorry for what I said when I thought things were different. Even if I believed that, I should never have been so callous. It’s just that…the thought of being with you, seeing you every day and loving you so much it hurts would kill me by degrees. I couldn’t agree to more months, more years, without wanting more from you, Clare. And I do want more. I want everything, even knowing I have absolutely nothing to offer you.”
Wringing her shaking hands, she stepped away from the door, coming closer and peering deep into his jade eyes. “I had told myself the same thing—that you couldn’t possibly feel what I felt after so short a time. But, then I decided more time could change things, that eventually the ‘more’ I wanted would become possible. I was willing to take that chance, and I didn’t care about the money or your circumstances. It’s all just peripheral nonsense, Edward. The only thing that mattered to me was you.”
Cupping her face with both hands, he leaned down until his forehead rested against hers, his gaze burning into hers with an intensity that left her breathless.
“I love you. It shouldn’t surprise me that it’s happened so swiftly, because that’s what you’ve done since the moment I met you, CeCe. You took me by surprise and you’ve continued to do so every day I’ve known you. I know I am not a good match for you. I’m the impoverished owner of a shipping company with an uncertain future. I have very little money that hasn’t been sunk into Norton & Rivers. I met you as a desperate courtesan whose last resort was to warm the bed of a woman I didn’t know just to be able to feed my family. I—”
“You are selling yourself short,” she interrupted, reaching up to put a finger over his lips. “All those things might be true, but you’ve forgotten a few other important details. Such as your willingness to accept me as I am when so many other people have shunned me as an oddity. And there is your strength under duress, where many other men would have watched their lives fall down around them in despair. But, you discovered a way to make things right for your family, and no lengths were too great. Then, there is the most important thing of all: that your efforts brought you to me.”
He smiled, then pressed a kiss against her fingertips. “That, I will never regret.”
“Do you know what a geode is, Edward?”
“No, but I’d love for you to explain it. You know how I feel about all those scientific terms.”
She huffed a laugh, but then grew serious once more. “A geode is a rock that looks rather plain and unremarkable on the outside, but when sawed open, it is revealed to contain minerals inside—amethyst, quartz, jasper, celesite, the most beautiful crystals you’ve ever seen. That is what I think of when I consider how all this has happened. I viewed intimacy as being akin to that plain rock—nothing special, something I could live without. But you opened up an entire world of possibilities to me, and now I can see deeper. I can see everything I would have missed had I passed you over like some common bit of stone. There is nothing common about you, and you have more important things to offer than material comforts. I have possessed those things my entire life, so I have no need of them from you. But there are other things I need, and I only want them with you.”
He took her into his arms, and she sank into his embrace, all her previous hurt and fear melting away. She realized now that the proposed second contract should never have happened. Had she been brave enough, she would have simply told him the truth of her heart and trusted that it would lead her to where they were now. But, they’d both made their mistakes, and now was the time for making things right.
“Say it again,” he whispered between kisses, his teeth playfully nipping at her lower lip. “The first time you said it, you were angry and hurt. I want to hear it again without all that tainting it.”
Threading her fingers through his hair, she placed a swift kiss on his lips, the tip of his nose, then right between his eyes. “I love you, Edward. I love you madly, deeply, and truly.”
He captured her lips again, tightening his hold on her and lifting her off her feet. She clung to him wrapping her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, groaning as his nearness stoked a desperate desire in her. It had only been days since she’d seen him last, but she was starved for him—for his touch, his kiss, his voice whispering words of love and scientific expressions into her ear.
“I’ve a hypothesis for you now,” she said as he sank into the nearest chair with her, arranging her comfortably on his lap.
She curled up against him, fitting her head beneath his chin and nuzzling his neck. He stroked a hand down her back and kissed the top of her head.
“What’s that, love?”
“If two people who love each other and never want to be parted, they will be married as soon as possible.”
Tipping her chin up so she looked him in the eye, Edward gave her that heartwarming, boyish smile she’d come to love more than any sight in the world.
“Conclusion: the man and the woman will live happily together until death do them part.”
Edward wincedas he took in Benedict’s reddened face and thunderous countenance. Hugh had offered to sit in on the final meeting between the two men while they hashed out the reasons for Edward parting ways with the Gentleman Courtesans. As he had assumed, Benedict was not thrilled by the news of his and Clare’s upcoming nuptials.
“Let me ensure I understand you correctly,” Benedict ground out, cool blue eyes narrowed murderously at him. “Miss Dunnaby was just here a week ago to sign a new contract, after which she wrote a bank draft for a substantial amount of money…and now you are here to tell me that instead of being her courtesan you are now going tomarry her?”
