Page 40 of Taming of the Rake
“It’s all right,” Regina’s voice called out, muffled and small. “He can stay, and you may go.”
The slight form of Regina’s lady’s maid left on silent feet without a look back. Now that he was in the room, his limbs had grown heavy and sluggish—which was odd, considering the urgency of the situation hadn’t abated in the slightest. Regina was unmoving and silent as he drew closer, finally making out her face. She lay on her side, curled into herself. David sank onto the edge of the bed and touched her brow, relief stealing over him when he found her without fever.
“Regina, my dear, what’s the matter? Are you ill?”
He was taken aback by the lone tear that streamed down her cheek as she gazed up at him. Her lips twisted in a wry half smile.
“No,” she whispered. “I am not. Oh, it’s so silly. I don’t even know why I’m crying.”
Sweeping the tear away with his fingers, he then tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I am certain you have good reason. If you are not sick, then it must be something else. Will you tell me what the matter is?”
She sniffled and eased up onto her elbow. “You will think me so foolish.”
“I highly doubt that.”
“My courses began this morning. I … I am not with child.”
Her voice had cracked on the words, a fresh wave of tears wetting her face and ripping a fissure along David’s heart. His deep, powerful reaction to those words and her grief left him feeling turned inside out. Though, along with the sinking feeling of disappointment on her behalf was a quiet sense of relief. He could hardly untangle such conflicting emotions just now, and wasn’t certain he wanted to.
Cupping her face, he forced a comforting smile. “I am so sorry. It’s still early yet. We will simply resume trying again when you’re ready.”
“I knew it might be premature to get my hopes up, but I want it so badly.”
“I understand. You are permitted to be disappointed.”
Was he allowed to be glad she hadn’t come up with child just yet? Even if it would put that hefty bonus in his hands, David was not ready for her to be done with him yet. The nights behind them notwithstanding, their last encounter had felt like the true first taste of what they could share. It had to end, as all his arrangements inevitably did, but it was too soon. There was still so much for him to teach her.
This isn’t about her,some nefarious, inner voice argued.If it were, you would want her pregnant as soon as possible, you selfish bastard.
That voice sounded an awful lot like his own, making it difficult to ignore. Shaking it off, David told himself he wasn’t selfish to want more time with her. He knew how desperate for affection and kindness Regina was. It was not wrong for him to want to be the one to give her those things.
“I’m so sorry you wasted the trip,” she said. “I ought to have sent word for you not to come, but I thought you should know I’ll be requiring your services a bit longer.”
“I would not call the opportunity to see you a wasted trip,” he argued, leaning down to begin prying off his boots. “I’ll stay, if you like.”
Dropping one boot to the floor, he glanced up to find Regina leveling a questioning look at him. “Why would you, if we cannot … oh.”
Her eyes went wide face as he began working on his other boot. “Surely it hasn’t been so long since we have seen one another that you’ve forgotten the many functions of a courtesan. You are upset, and I am here. Let me lie with you.”
Regina returned his smile as he removed his coat and waistcoat. His cravat followed, landing on the pile of his discarded clothes. She turned down the coverlet for him, then turned to give him her back. Easing in behind her, David slid an arm around her waist and drew her into him. She shivered, likely in reaction to the lingering chill of the night still lingering on his clothes. But she was soft and sweet-smelling, and he sank against her to absorb her warmth. Burying his face in her hair, he closed his eyes and realized how tired he was. The prospect of bedding her had renewed his energy, but simply lying with her had pushed him in the opposite direction. He was now boneless and relaxed, lulled toward drowsiness by her nearness.
Laying a hand over her belly, he kissed the back of her neck. “It will happen.”
Her hand came to rest over his and she sighed. “I hope so.”
Not another word was spoken between them, but she seemed to require nothing more from him than his presence. It would seem he was just as content with her nearness, because he fell asleep in short order. He didn’t awake until morning.
The following afternoon,David returned to call on her. Typically, the first few days of Regina’s courses proved the most miserable, forcing her to take to bed until the weakness and discomfort abated. Today, she felt marginally better and was eager for the nuisance of her monthly terror to end so she and David could pick up where they’d left off. Of course, her keenness had everything to do with a desire to have another taste of pleasure, as well as her need to resume trying to get pregnant. That was all.
If she told herself that enough, perhaps she would believe it. Regina’s mind argued it was true, but when a footman entered the drawing room to inform her that David had arrived, her heart rebelled. It fluttered and flipped, a phenomenon that only grew once he appeared before her.
Setting aside her book, she stood. “David! What are you doing here?”
Her gaze slid to Powell, who rose from his place in the corner, his own tome set aside. He offered no comment, but his gaze was curious as he set it on David.
“I mean … I wasn’t expecting you today,” she added with a sheepish smile.
He returned her smile, hat in his hands as he approached. “I finished my work early today and thought to look in on you. Feeling better? Your coloring is good. You seem … well.”
