Page 52 of Taming of the Rake
“No,” she snapped, lowering her head back over her chemise. But then, the needle slipped and a drop of blood splashed the lace of the neckline and Regina threw everything—needle and all—to the floor at her feet. “Bloody hell!”
Powell raised an eyebrow and glanced at the little box containing spools of thread and other bits and bobs. “Haven’t you a thimble or some such?”
She blinked, staring at him as if he’d just asked her to solve a mathematical equation without the benefit of pencil and paper. Such a simple question, one that should not make her feel like such an imbecile.
“I do,” she muttered taking up a scrap of unused fabric from the chest and using it to apply pressure to her tortured finger. “I’m not feeling at all the thing today and forgot it entirely.”
“Because you’re now in a … delicate way?”
When Regina’s lips parted on a sharp breath, Powell slouched and crossed one leg over the other with a shrug. “I noticed you’ve been sleeping later the past few weeks. My sister slept like a corpse when she carried my nephew … it was the first sign, even before the sickness. We’ll hear the cries of a newborn around September, I’m thinking.”
With a disbelieving shake of her head, she avoided Powell’s probing gaze. The man was too astute by half, and his constant nearness meant he always knew even the things she tried to hide.
“You are correct. I discovered it just a few days ago and informed David last night.”
“Ah, so that’s it, then.”
Regina had just gone back into her basket when Powell’s words stilled her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Only that I had a feeling it might come to this once you got what you wanted. He wasn’t content to walk away once you told him, was he?” At her shocked expression, Powell chuckled. “Haven’t you been paying attention? The man’s been besotted with you from the first.”
Regina might have upbraided him for such impertinent talk, but Powell wasn’t just a servant. Because of Randolph’s tyrannical rule, he was the only friend she had in the world.
David was your friend. He was your lover, but he became more than that.
The thought made a well of nausea erupt in her throat and panic flare in her chest. Powell was wrong. Shehadbeen paying attention, so she knew David had grown fond of her. However, she hadn’t wanted to believe it was true. She still did not.
“He doesn’t want me, he only thinks he does,” she argued feebly, twisting the skirt of her gown with shaking fingers. She wore spring green today, a fabric she had bought because themodistepointed out how it matched her eyes. It hadn’t been worn in years, and for some reason after her night at The Crimson Dove with David, Regina had found it impossible to go back to the widow’s weeds.
“I think the man knows his own mind better than you.”
“And I think it’s just like you to take the other man’s side in this!”
Powell’s mouth turned down as he studied her, fingers stroking his chin. “I’m on your side in all things, and I think you know that. However, I also think you do your Mr. Graham a disservice. He isn’t Hurst.”
She shot to her feet, her injured finger throbbing as she balled her hands into fists. “I never said he was.”
Powell arched an eyebrow. “Didn’t you? If it isn’t you he wants, then just what do you suspect Graham is after? Your money?”
“He is certainly in desperate need,” she argued. “He told me himself he wasn’t the marrying sort, but would possibly consider it if enough money were involved.”
“And do you think a few thousand pounds would matter if you could be made happy? Not just content, or living with what small joys you think you can have. I mean actually, truly happy, as you have been these past months.”
She parted her lips to insist that she certainly hadnotbeen as happy as Powell claimed, but the pitying look he gave her had Regina snapping them shut. To argue that David hadn’t brought her joy would be a lie, and no one would see that better than Powell.
“You left this house for the first time in weeks to go to that public house, and I’ve never seen you as happy as you were the next morning … when you came down to breakfast wearing apinkfrock. You haven’t been able to force yourself back into the black ever since. You hum to yourself when you think I can’t hear, and you practically bounce with excitement while waiting for him to come to you at night. Until this morning you haven’t asked me to follow you anywhere, or stand outside your door, and it’s because he made you feel safe. You weren’t afraid of him.”
Her eyes began to sting with tears, which Regina found befuddling, considering her eyes had been dry through the entire argument with David. The man must have thought her so cold and unfeeling. But she’d concealed all that from him after years of practice. Randolph had only taken pleasure in her tears.
Only now, the dam was breaking, and she didn’t think she could fight it anymore.
“I have been a man’s wife,” she rasped, her voice hitching on a sob. “There wasn’t a part of myself that belonged to me after I signed that church register. I’ve only just begun to rediscover myself again, to feel as I am actually alive instead of just breathing for the purpose of existence. I … I cannot … you don’t understand!”
Powell came to his feet. “Idon’tunderstand. Hurst was a bastard and a coward, but Graham isn’t like him.”
“He is a man like any other.”
“And so am I. Yet you trust me with your life.”
