Page 52 of Making of a Scandal
“She would have reigned over thetonlike a queen,” he replied with a short huff of laughter. “She would have had the men eating from her palm and the women clamoring for her friendship—for to fall out of Vedah’s favor was to be made to feel as if one had been cast into the seventh circle of Hell. She had a fiery temper, but she was rarely ever wrong. Her quarrels with me were often justified.”
“I’m certain she couldn’t have stayed angry with you for long.”
“I had my ways,” he murmured, eyes twinkling and lips quirking into a sad smile. “Returning here to take up the title scared me, but the prospect of becoming a viscountess did not daunt her in the least. For whatever hardship she might have faced in the beginning, I believe she would have adjusted to her new life in time. I think that my own grief at her loss is inconsequential compared to what you were forced to do without. I was never certain I was doing the right thing by bringing you back with me. To this day, I remain unsure if it was the right thing to do, forcing you to fit into a society that would not readily make room for you.”
He looked so dejected that Calliope immediately threw her arms around his waist, clinging to him.
“You mustn’t think that way. Of course you did the right thing. Losing Mama was hard enough, I would never have wanted to be without you.”
Resting his head atop hers, he clutched her to him. “You were all I had left, and I didn’t want to be away from you, either. It was suggested that I leave you in your grandfather’s household. With Ekta to care for you, you would have been reared much like your mother was. He warned me that I was selfish to take you, and I have not yet decided if he was right.”
“Do you regret your decision?” she asked, her heart breaking at the mere thought.
“I cannot say I do. It is difficult, though, not to think of how different your life would have been had you remained.”
She frowned, fiddling with one of the empty pots and wondering what treasures her mother had once stored inside. “Do you know that the other children of the court referred to me askutcha-butcha?”
Her father winced, giving her a pitying look. “Half-baked bread. I am familiar with the term, but did not think anyone dared call you that aloud.”
She shrugged as if it had not affected her, but remained aware that of her few memories of life in Bengal, this was one that always stood foremost in her mind.
“It is no different than the whispers that go on behind my back here. I think Grandfather would have protected me as best he could, but neither of you could have shielded me forever. If either of you would have bothered to ask me, I would have told you that I wanted to be with you no matter where you were. Being raised by you, coming to know Mama through your stories and learning to claim my rightful place as an English lady while still having love and respect for my mother’s homeland … I could not have asked for better than that. I hope that helps to ease your mind.”
He patted her shoulder, then took her hand to lead her to sit before a low, ebony table laden with a tea service Calliope knew to have been her mother’s favorite. He kept the silver pot and matching cups and saucers polished and well cared for, only using them whenever she was in residence.
“Now then,” he said while Calliope poured. “Tell me about these suitors of yours. Diana has led me to believe that they have nearly come to blows over you.”
Calliope rolled her eyes. “You know how dramatic Diana can be. It isn’t at all like that. Though … I do think I favor Mr. Lewes above Mr. Burke.”
She kept her eyes down and her attention on preparing the tea, worried he would see the truth if she met his gaze. It was not like her to lie to him, but she didn’t have to think twice about keeping her arrangement with Dominick a secret. Her father would not like to know that she was keeping company with a courtesan, no matter the reason.
But, she couldn’t release him from their contract until her engagement to Martin was official. If Nick’s feigned interest in her was what had spurred him to courting her, she would take no chances. She only needed him for a little while longer.
“Burke has quite the reputation, though I suppose that cannot be held against him. I was hardly a model of virtue and honor when I met your mother.”
She took a long sip of tea, allowing herself a moment to think before answering.
“Mr. Burke … isn’t what his reputation makes him out to be. He strikes me as a man filled with untapped potential, being a third son with nothing to truly occupy his time.”
Calliope was surprised how easily those words fell from her lips, and that she actually meant them. Dominick wasn’t quite as shallow as he’d led her—and the rest of theton—to believe. At times, he almost seemed like an actor who had been pushed into a role he had no choice but to play. Realizing that made it difficult for her to think of him as being so different from her.
“I understand the plight well, and it was that lack of something with which to channel my potential that led me to the East India Company. Perhaps Mr. Burke simply has yet to find the thing which motivates him … or, maybe he has.”
Calliope fought not to squirm under her father’s perusal, offering a nonchalant shrug. “Mr. Burke seems to like me well enough, but Mr. Lewes has gone out of his way to ensure I know what his intentions are. He very much wishes for your approval.”
“You do not need my permission to wed the man of your choosing.”
She reached out to take his hand. “No, but your approval means the world to me. I think you will like Martin, Papa. You and he have much in common.”
“What matters to me is how you feel about him, sweet. You have much to say of this man’s willingness to marry you, but have made no mention of love.”
Her pulse fluttered, her stomach quivering as she thought back to the passionless kiss she’d shared with Martin.
“I like him very much, Papa,” she said with as much honesty as she could muster—for shedidlike Martin, even if she did not yet desire him. “Love will come, in time. I have faith in that.”
What she did not, and could not say, was that she expected love to spring forth and grow the farther Dominick Burke was pushed from the periphery of her life. He was the sort of man who commanded attention, overshadowing everyone else around him. If he was no longer nearby to tempt her, to remind her of things better forgotten, he would eventually fade from her mind altogether.
She had to believe that, otherwise she would go mad at the ridiculous notion that she was falling in love with her courtesan. Which would not do at all.
