Page 71 of Making of a Scandal
Calliope stormedthrough the doors leading outside, uncertain where she was going but needing to escape. Her entire body trembled, and a hollow ache spread through her middle. She felt as if she would be violently sick, the threat of tears stinging her eyes.
While she might be confused and shocked by what she had witnessed, the greater concern was what had been revealed by Lady Thrush. For years, she had been so careful. She had guarded her reputation, using it as a shield against a world that would only accept her so long as she was above reproach. That had all been destroyed, and the fault was her own.
“Calliope!”
Dominick’s voice rang out behind her. Her heart leaped into her throat, and she increased her speed—even knowing she had no chance of outrunning him.
“Callie, wait!”
She lowered her head against the bright gleam of the morning sun and pushed on. Calliope didn’t know what to say or do; she only knew she needed to be away from him, away from the painful truth she had tried to avoid but must now confront.
“Anni!”
She halted in her tracks at the sound of her true name, tangled up with the distress in Dominick’s voice. Whirling on him, she came up against his chest. She reared away from his grasping hands, her own raised to ward him off.
“Don’t!” she bellowed, her voice shaky with sorrow. “Leave me be, Dominick.”
“No. I will not leave you until you listen to me. What you saw … it isn’t what you think. Do you honestly think I would leave your bed this morning and go toher?”
“Of course not! I’m not an idiot. It was plainly obvious that her advances were unwanted and you were trying to extricate yourself from the situation.”
He furrowed his brow and shook his head. “Then why are you angry with me?”
“I am angry withmyself, for being so foolish. I let you … I should never have … Oh, God!”
She pressed a hand to her belly, trying to keep her breakfast down and fearing she might fail. Dominick reached for her again, but at her warning glare he backed away, dejection marring his face.
“Whatever has you so upset … I can mend it. Let me make it right.”
“There is no making this right. Can’t you see? Sheknows.She knows I hired you, there is no telling who else knows or may find out.”
“She doesn’t know the truth.”
“She knows enough! And I’ve behaved so abominably this week it is a wonder the entire party isn’t aware by now.”
“What does it matter? We are getting married. Perhaps we’ll have to do so sooner than we’d planned, but that will make all of this go away. I’ve just sent a letter to Benedict informing him that I’m done with the Gentleman Courtesans. Lady Thrush will have no leverage once we are wed and I have—”
“Ofcourseyou think marriage will be enough to erase this.Youaren’t the one people will call a whore if word of this gets out.Youaren’t the one people will turn their noses up at and gossip about, even after marriage has made me respectable.Iam!”
He threaded both hands into his hair and released an exasperated breath, closing his eyes as if pained. “No one has to know. I’ll do whatever I must to ensure Lady Thrush’s silence. You have to trust me to protect you.”
“And when another of your former clients decides she wants a repeat performance from her favorite courtesan? What then? Am I to spend the rest of my life afraid to leave you alone for fear that any woman of thetoncould throw herself at you at any given moment? I don’t even know how many women you’ve serviced, which of them I rub elbows with or know personally! Should I expect more of them to offer to buy your favors for a night?”
Dominick raised his chin, jaw hardening and eyes narrowing. “I refuse to spend the rest of my life apologizing for my past. You accepted me last night knowing what I was, what I’ve done. I’ve told you I’m done with them, and I meant it. What more do you want from me?”
“I cannot believe I let you overwhelm me so utterly that I forgot … I didn’t take into account that I would be forced to look every woman I meet in the eye and wonder how many of them have had you, how many will whisper to their friends that perhaps before our marriage I purchased you, too. I dare not forget aboutThe London Gossip. The moment she figures out who the Gentleman Courtesans are, anyone associated with you will be ruined!”
“That deranged harpy has been shooting in the dark. She knows nothing.”
She scoffed, throwing her hands up. “And there you have it. Your typical arrogance blinds you to how easily you could be found out, with no thought to how it might affect the people you care about. You have no idea what it’s like to know you could become a pariah with nothing more than a single smudge to your good name—not when you have all the privilege in the world to hide behind. Some of us have no such privileges!”
His expression softened by degrees, understanding and compassion radiating from his eyes. When he took her hand, she didn’t fight him. Despite her best efforts, she was still so weak for him, unable to shun him even as she knew she must walk away.
“You are afraid,” he murmured, pulling her closer and lacing his fingers through hers. “I understand that. But we cannot let fear guide our decisions or change our path. I don’t know what will happen or how, but I do know I want to face whatever comes with you. Nothing else matters. I chose to put aside my past and my own reservations because I love you. And you chose me—”
“It was a mistake. I should never have let it happen.”
He shook his head, wrapping his arms around her and yanking her against him. “No. Don’t you dare call what we shared a mistake. It wasn’t some meaningless moment of recklessness. You know that as well as I do.”
