Page 82 of Making of a Scandal
Calliope glanced to Ekta, who gave her an encouraging nod before making her exit. When she looked back to her sister, she found Diana frowning, brows knit together.
“Callie?”
“Of course. Yes … I am ready.”
Diana leaned closer, tightening her grip on Calliope’s fingers until they grew numb. “Are you sure? I would never pretend to know your mind better than you do. I just … this doesn’t feel right. You’ve been so unhappy these past weeks and we both know why.”
Calliope took a deep breath as the anxiety she’d been keeping at bay all morning flared to life again. “It is all but done. For better or worse, I have made my choice and must live with it.”
“Must you? What about Mr. Burke?”
Her stomach clenched as if she’d been struck at the sound of his name, a dull ache thudding in her chest.
“Oh, Diana,” she whispered, eyes burning with hot tears. “Even if I could call this off—”
“You can! The choice to put a stop to this is yours. What is keeping you from going to the man you love?”
She shook her head, the first tear slipping free, then another. “I’ve wounded him, Diana. You didn’t see the way he looked at me, the things he said when we last met … he was so angry, so miserable.”
It had been an even greater blow to emerge from that closet and go to her meeting, only to learn what Dominick’s business with Mrs. Fisher had been. The manager of the orphanage had been elated to inform them that she’d just accepted a sizable donation from The Honourable Mr. Burke. Calliope had nearly choked when she informed them how much he’d given—the exact amount she had paid to finalize the end of their contract. She’d sent the bank draft to Mr. Sterling upon her return to London, hoping it would see Dominick through until he inherited. He hadn’t touched a single penny, giving it all to the home that was so dear to her. That, coupled with the gift of the chatelaine had left her feeling low, like the most horrid creature on Earth. Even after she had hurt him, he went out of his way to prove his love for her. She’d been too blinded by her fears to see it. Now, it was too late.
“Surely he would forgive you. Callie, the man loves you.”
“His uncle has just died, and after what I’ve already done, I would never intrude in his moment of grief and inflict even more hardship on him. He gave me the chance to choose him, and I spurned it. I would not blame him if he never wanted to see me again.”
Diana seemed ready to go on arguing her point, but Calliope gave her sister a little shake.
“It’s all right. Do you understand? I have made my peace with it, and so must you. Martin is not Dominick, but he is more than I had hoped for in a husband. There is no reason to believe I cannot be happy with him.”
Her sister nodded, though Calliope read the uncertainty in her eyes. She turned away, unable to bear it any longer. She needed to stay strong.
Her father arrived next, moving them all to tears again with his reaction to her in her bridal ensemble. He held her close and told her how lovely she looked. To her relief, the viscount didn’t ask her if she was sure about her choice, though Calliope knew he had witnessed her unhappiness just as Diana had. He simply took her hand and led her down to the waiting coach, joining her, Diana, and Hastings inside.
The vehicle lurched, carrying her toward her future. As she clung to her bouquet of daylilies, she did her best to convince herself it was a future she could be content with.
It was all she had left.
Dominick stood outside St.James’s Church, watching as Aubrey and Lucinda’s wedding guests flocked to the carriages lining the street, waiting to take them to the wedding breakfast. He’d spent the past several days wrestling with himself while grappling with his grief and planning for his departure from London. He hadn’t slept, could barely eat, and an incessant pounding had taken up between his eyes.
Three times he had begun making his way to Hastings House, intent on demanding an audience with Calliope. Three times, he changed course and went off to find other occupation, uncertainty getting the best of him. He still wanted her, loved her beyond all reason, and there was no stopping it. But, did she love him? Would she be willing to toss Lewes over, making an even bigger scandal than the one they had begun in Surrey?
It was this worry that held him back, for he would never want to put her in such a position, nor did he relish making a fool of himself and risk being turned away again. From the dark recesses of his mind—where he had shoved and compressed his feelings for her—a soft voice whispered that there was hope. There was still the chance that she would choose him. The voice had grown louder and louder, until it was all he could hear, his thoughts consumed with the seductive idea of stealing a bride from her unsuspecting groom.
He’d awakened this morning with his every sense on high alert, his body shaken by internal tremors, as if some deep-seated part of him prepared for something monumental. Nick did everything he could to ignore it. He told himself it was merely sorrow over knowing Calliope was getting married today; it would pass once the deed was done and there was no longer anything he could do to stop it.
However, that voice in his mind had dominated his thoughts throughout the wedding. As he’d sat beside Hugh to watch Aubrey marry the woman he loved, Nick found himself unable to ignore it any longer.
He’d thought it a just twist of fate for him to be forced to endure this pain, an inevitability for a man who had lived as he had for so long without truly facing any consequences. But, the evidence of how wrong he was stood right before him. Granted, Aubrey didn’t have Dominick’s salacious past working against him—but there were enough obstacles that ought to have kept him and Lucinda apart. His status as a man in trade and the son of a valet who had once been a slave. All the privilege and advantages Lucinda had been born with that Aubrey had been denied. It should have been enough for Aubrey to decide it was better to avoid heartache and complication. Lucinda might have allowed fear of scorn from her peers and the lack of her parents’ approval to keep her from clinging to Aubrey.
But none of it had been enough to shake them, and Dominick realized he had no reason to doubt it ever would. Aubrey had taken a chance and it had paid off, no matter how difficult it must have been at times.
Who was to say the same chance wouldn’t pay off for him? He was the one with all the privilege and position in this scenario, for all that he’d squandered it acting like a jackanapes. Like Aubrey, Calliope had everything to lose by choosing him, with the added problem of the gossip and talk that would follow her if she did. But if he could convince her it didn’t have to matter when they had each other, if he could make her feel safe enough to trust him with her heart, her soul, her entire self, they could be happy. They could be together.
He’d never had to fight for anything in his life; not the comforts that were his by right of birth, not his money, not one woman he’d ever desired—for they’d all fallen into his arms as raindrops plummet from the heavens.
But, if he wanted Calliope, he was going to have to fight, and Nick realized with stunning clarity that if he didn’t he’d regret it for the rest of his life.
The stakes were higher than ever now, and he was nearly out of time. But, nothing was final. Calliope’s wedding wasn’t set to begin for another hour. It wasn’t over until she’d spoken her vows.
