Page 17 of What a Courtesan Wants
Clenching her teeth, she once again drew on fortitude to shoulder her way through this. She wanted someone to see to her physical needs, and David would do as well as Aubrey. He might even do better considering that the elements of domination and submission would be absent from their encounters.
“Tomorrow evening will do,” she replied. “You may give him my address and tell him to arrive at nine in the evening if he is amenable.”
Mr. Sterling issued a rough chuckle. “Oh, he’ll be amenable. Aubrey will be informed of the termination of your contract, and if you’ll just sign here your arrangement with David will continue with the same terms.”
Lucinda’s hand shook as she took up the pen, and she paused just before it could touch the paper. Mr. Sterling reached out to halt her before she could sign. She found him watching her with bewilderment and concern in his eyes. For the first time she noticed that he looked like hell—dark circles rimming the bright blue eyes, hair more disheveled than usual, mouth pinched tight at the corners. Aside from that, there was the twisted mottling of bruises along his jaw and above one eye. She wondered who had put their fists to him, though glancing at his knuckles she could see the man had given as good as he’d got.
“Are you certain you wish to do this, my lady?” he asked, his voice low and gentle.
The question hung on the air between them, heavy with other unspoken words. She knew he and Aubrey to be friends, and he must wonder why she would wish to cast the man aside after only a few beddings. The professional nature of their acquaintance would bar him from delving into questions she didn’t want to answer. She could see why Mr. Sterling was so good at his job. He seemed to read her with very little effort, and he could obviously see that there was more to this than she was letting on.
But, she hadn’t come here to lay her burdens at anyone’s feet. She’d come for a practical matter, which she would dispense with right now.
Brushing his hand away, she steadied her hand and pressed pen to paper. “Yes. I am certain.”
Chapter 5
“With the Season falling behind us, news of surprise elopements have begun sweeping through the city. If you thought slinking off to Scotland to wed in secret would save you mention in this column, you are sadly mistaken. Listed below are last Season’s most shocking, unexpected elopements. Gentlemen, be sure to check the betting books and collect what you are owed. Some of these are quite surprising …”
-The London Gossip,26 August 1819
“She didwhat?”
Aubrey paced Benedict’s office, hands clenched behind his back. He felt hot all over, his skin itching and pulling as if it would rend at the seams any moment. Benedict folded his hands over his chest and eyed Aubrey with sympathy—which only made him angrier. Not only had he been summoned here to be informed that his client wished to cut him loose, now he had to suffer Benedict feeling sorry for him over it.
“She said it had nothing to do with you—”
“The devil it doesn’t,” he grumbled.
He fairly shook with rage, and couldn’t fathom why. He’d never bothered himself worrying over the length of an arrangement or why a particular keeper had decided to be done with him. But, the ending of this arrangement rankled him. He wanted to put his fist through a wall or throw something through the darkened window and out into the alley beyond. Perhaps it was simply the last straw in a long line of rejections, an insult following a string of more of the same. Women had been using him and tossing him aside without a second thought, but it hadn’t mattered because he hadn’t wanted any of them, not really. But Lucinda … he had wanted her so badly it had physically pained him, and now she was finished with him before they’d even truly begun.
“You know how women are, Aubrey,” Benedict said with a dry snort. “Fickle creatures, all of them. Who can say what she really wants? I got the sense she never really knew what she wanted to begin with.”
Aubrey could readily agree with that, though he was certain he knew exactly what Lady Lucinda Boweryneeded. A good lashing with a riding crop for a start, and a cock down her throat to stifle her sharp tongue. Those thoughts only stoked him to arousal, which, mingled with the heat of his irritation, created quite a stunning effect. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to strangle the woman right now or fuck her.
Just who did she think she was, discarding him like she might a handkerchief?
“Aubrey, I think perhaps you ought to take some time—”
“Who did you match her with?” he interjected, halting his pacing.
His friend sighed and ran a hand over his face. He looked exhausted, but slightly better than he had last week. After their evening of dining and gambling—during which Benedict had downed copious amounts of brandy—Aubrey had carted him back to his own home, depositing his friend in a guest room to sleep off his inebriation. He’d confessed to a pounding headache the next morning, which had led Mrs. Baines to mix up one of her tonics—one she insisted to be quite effective in curing the effects of over-imbibing. This week, his bruises had begun turning green, and he looked as if he hadn’t slept a wink. But, Aubrey knew any inquiries into how his friend was feeling would be rebuffed, so he would adhere to the matter at hand.
“David,” Benedict replied. “He was the only courtesan without an arrangement, and he seemed to fit what she wanted.”
“Which was what, exactly?”
“Someone lacking your intensity. Her words, not mine. Come, Aubrey, forget about it. You’ll only drive yourself mad trying to understand it.”
It was far too late for that. Lucinda had set her boundaries and he’d held to them, no matter how badly he’d wanted to tread on and outright ignore them. She’d struck him as being a lonely creature, in need of something deeper than the physical. And damn if he hadn’t been the fool for wanting to give that to her despite her insistence that she wanted none of it. And it was the damnedest thing, because he hadn’t thought himself capable of such feelings any longer. He had gone years without any true depth of connection to any woman, even the ones who paid him to share their beds. Lucinda had been different, even if he’d only had her for a short time. He could not decide what it was about her that appealed to the buried parts of himself, but Aubrey couldn’t deny that she’d had enough of an impact for this rejection to sting more than the others had.
“David,” he said with a derisive scoff. “He’d hardly know what to do with a woman like Lucinda.”
Aubrey didn’t say it out of any ill will toward his friend; it was simply a fact. The thought of them together was puzzling, and stirred something deep within him that felt a lot like jealousy. As much as he liked David, he found himself wanting to do the man bodily harm.
“Lucky for us, I won’t have to figure out how to,” said a third voice from the doorway.
Aubrey whirled to find David standing there. He had an indolent smile on his lips, but his eyes flashed with irritation.
