Page 15 of Chasing Benedict
“Alex,” Aubrey began with a deep sigh. “I know why you’re here.”
Alex tensed, hearing the warning note in Aubrey’s voice. “You disapprove.”
“Not precisely. I think, were I in your shoes, I would have made the same decision. You love Ben and always have. You want him back.”
“More than anything,” he admitted, having no reason to hold back with Aubrey.
“Have you seen him?”
“Twice since my return. He doesn’t want to see or speak to me, and I cannot say I can blame him.”
“Neither can I,” Aubrey stated, though there was no malice behind it. “I do not blame you for your choice. Ben does, but he doesn’t know what I know. You were placed in an impossible situation.”
“You never told him?”
“You trusted me to keep your confidence.”
Alex wasn’t certain whether to be relieved to hear this, or disappointed. On the one hand, if Ben had known the reason Alex had been forced to marry Katherine, he might have understood. He might have gone on with his life knowing that Alex hadn’t left him for lack of love or devotion, but to protect him. But then, Ben was known for his obstinacy and willpower. He would have tried putting a stop to the wedding, insisting that anything could be overcome as long as they were together. And Alex, weak, romantic fool that he was, would have been powerless to resist. Ben would be far worse off than he was now as a result.
“What happened after I left London?” Alex asked. “Ben is angry with me, but there’s more to it than that, I can feel it. He’s changed.”
“He has,” Aubrey agreed. “As far as what went on once you were gone … I’m sorry, Alex, but I cannot divulge that. Ben’s story isn’t mine to tell. I want the two of you to make amends, and am willing to help in whatever way I can. If you want me to try to talk to him and smooth the way for you, I am perfectly willing to do that, but … don’t ask me to reveal things he would prefer to keep to himself. I promised to keep your confidence, but I also promised Ben the same. I owe him that much after all he has done for me.”
“I understand,” Alex said, though he couldn’t help but feel disappointed. He had been hoping for any insight into Ben’s state of mind, any information that could help get through to him.
As if having plucked his thoughts out of thin air, Aubrey leaned in, gaze intently locked with Alex’s. “I can tell you that he wouldn’t be so angry if he didn’t still feel something for you. If you can withstand his anger in the beginning without faltering, you can get through to him. That is one thing that has remained the same.”
It wasn’t much, but Alex would accept that. It had never occurred to him that when it came to Ben, heated fury was better than cold apathy. If Ben could be made to feel rage, he could also feel affection and desire. Those emotions were still there somewhere, however deeply they had been buried.
“Thank you,” he murmured before finishing off what was left of his brandy. “I don’t intend to give up, and will remain in London as long as it takes.”
“Good,” Aubrey replied. “Then I can expect to see you fairly often? Perhaps for dinner as Lucy proposed.”
Alex chuckled. “Most certainly.” Catching sight of the array of newspapers resting at the corner of the desk, Alex gestured toward them. “May I?”
Neatly stacking a mess of documents at his elbow, Aubrey nodded. “Of course.”
Flipping through crisp copies of the usual papers, Alex frowned when he noticed one that was unfamiliar to him. “The London Gossip? Aubrey, I never took you for being interested intonscandals and such.”
Aubrey’s mouth drew tight, his expression changing from open and inviting to shuttered in a matter of seconds. “I’m not … not really. But the woman who writes that paper has been known to print unflattering things about me in her columns—Lucy as well. It’s simply good sense to keep up with what she’s printing and consider how it can affect business.”
Alex scowled while skimming reports of debutantes who had ruined their marriage prospects with scandalous behaviors, gentlemen who had blown fortunes at the gaming tables, and a running list of impending marriages and births. There was even a betting guide for those who might wish to wager on any of the happenings of high society: whether a duchess might bear her husband a son or daughter, if a betrothal would be called off before the wedding, if the mistress of a viscount would be set aside after he was married.
“By Jove, she sounds like a right harpy,” he muttered. “In one section she complains that the vice of gambling is ruining the society gentleman, but in the next she prints a betting guide.”
“She is both a harpy and a hypocrite,” Aubrey replied, the words laced with disgust. “But you know how high society thrives on gossip. That’s the most popular scandal sheet in town.”
A certain column caught Alex’s eye, and he quickly read a report concerning Ben’s recent activities. “It says here that Ben has a mistress. Some dowager countess.”
Aubrey made a low sound of amusement from his throat. “A pretense, and a rather effective one. Matchmaking mamas steer their daughters clear of him, thinking him a rake. The courtesans keep their distance as Celeste is said to have quite the hold over him. She’s a friend, and has her reasons for going along with the charade.”
It made sense, though it struck Alex as something Ben would never have done in the past. His irreverence meant he didn’t give a fig what anyone thought of him, and didn’t need pretense of any kind to explain why he wasn’t married or never seen in the company of women. Perhaps more had changed in Alex’s absence than he’d thought.
“I see. This Gossip woman certainly seems to dislike Ben. She is almost detached when writing about others, but seems to have reserved a great deal of animosity for Ben. Have you any idea what that’s about?”
“Not in the slightest.” Aubrey sounded bored as he stood and stretched. “Who can pretend to know the mind of a woman like her? Enough about that. Come, I want to show you the expansion on the shop and our new renovations. Then, I have some fabrics I think you will like in the storeroom. No one else has purchased them yet, so you will make quite a splash should you choose to wear one.”
The abrupt change of subject puzzled Alex, but then Aubrey must be used to this gossip columnist's peculiarities. Alex was only so curious because his distance from London had kept him in the dark about such matters. Not one to pay much attention to idle gossip, he was willing to let the matter drop.
