Page 53 of Chasing Benedict
“I’ve said it before, but must reiterate how dreadfully dull London is this time of year. I cannot help but wonder what scandals are occurring within the country estates of theton’smost outrageous members.”
-The London Gossip,14 February 1820
For the next sennight, Alex watched Ben and Nick interact with one another, curiosity plaguing him. He and Ben hadn’t spoken much of his life during the years they were separated, and Alex was reluctant to ask. Part of him didn’t want to know about the string of men Ben had taken as lovers. Another part of him felt as if he had no right to ask when he hadn’t disclosed the final development that had come of his marriage to Katherine.
However, there never seemed to be a good time to broach the subject. Ben spent his days training while Alex entertained Nick and Calliope. Alex found his friend’s wife to be lovely, and her presence helped ease much of the tension between Ben and Nick. The two rarely spoke beyond a few pleasantries, and Alex constantly worried that another row would break out between them, leading to things being said that couldn’t be taken back.
His nights with Ben left no time for talk, as they grew reacquainted in other ways. Ben had changed as a lover, becoming more demanding, more dominating. Alex reveled in it all, finding that his arousal was heightened by this change in Ben’s demeanor. They never revisited the possibility of Alex being the one to make love to Ben. Alex had begun to suspect Ben wouldn’t allow it because he didn’t fully trust him yet. Alex knew what he needed to do to gain that trust, and the longer he waited, the more impatient he was to have done with it. Not just so that Ben would allow him the one intimacy he’d been denied during their arrangement, but because once Ben trusted him again, there was room for more. Alex had faith in the love of their past, knowing it could be rekindled and strengthened. His aim had always been to convince Ben to stay with him and ever leave. Seeing him walk the corridors of Vautrey Park, run the paths during his training, and sleep in Alex’s bed had only increased that desire until it became all he could think about.
Aside from his own secret, Alex began to suspect he knew what Ben was keeping from both him and Nick. Now that Alex knew that the London Gossip was Cynthia Milbank, he couldn’t stop thinking of that night at the duke’s ball. Even from a distance, their conversation had seemed heated and volatile. Surely what Alex witnessed had been a negotiation. But what had been the terms? Why was this woman so dead set on ruining Ben and the other courtesans?
He had mentioned Cynthia to Ben only once since that disastrous dinner, only to be put off. Ben seemed as reluctant to speak of it as Nick had been. After days of wondering and being frustrated, Alex decided it couldn’t hurt to do a little digging. One morning, he invited Nick to join him for his daily ride. They took a long, scenic route, alternating between bracing runs and loping trots. When they came upon a shallow creek, they dismounted to allow the horses to drink.
Doffing his hat, Alex paced toward a nearby tree and leaned back against it. “Calliope is lovely. I can tell she’s been good for you.”
Nick smiled, a dreamy look softening his face. “She has been. I’d never thought I would marry, you know. But my Anni … she was simply too perfect to resist.”
“Anni?” Alex prodded.
“It’s her Bengali name. Her father changed it to Calliope when he brought her here from India. The only people who use that name are myself, her father, and her lady’s maid.”
“It’s beautiful,” Alex replied. “I’m glad for you.”
Nick’s expression grew serious. “And I am sorry for your loss. I didn’t know the countess well, but she was known to be a wonderful lady.”
“She was,” Alex said, choking back the grief tearing through him. “I … miss her sorely.”
Nick seemed on the verge of saying something else, but Alex felt the inevitable question. He couldn’t allow Nick to ask how Katherine had died; not yet.
“What happened between Ben and Cynthia Milbank?” he blurted
Nick blinked. “I … what?”
“We know now that she’s the London Gossip. Obviously, she revels in exposing people’s secrets, but I read the things she wrote about Ben. They were particularly mean … personal. Why is that?”
Nick turned away and swore under his breath. Swiping a hand over his mouth, he sighed. “I can’t say.”
“You can’t say?” Alex exclaimed. “None of this will go away with you and Ben keeping secrets for everyone. Aubrey knows something too, I could tell when I saw him in London. This woman has been able to take you unawares at every turn because the three of you don’t talk to one another. I suspect these other friends—Hugh and David—are just as much in the dark as you are, if not more so.”
“Why do you care so much?” Nick fired back. “Ben was jealous of you and Katherine. He threw away your friendship for the sake of his own pride. You seem to have let him back into your life fairly easily, and now you’re concerning yourself with matters that have nothing to do with you.”
Alex was shocked by Nick’s claim concerning Katherine. It made no sense. “Did Ben tell you he wanted Katherine?”
“No, but it was obvious enough. He attended your wedding and then refused to attend another until those closest to him began marrying. He grew irate when anyone spoke your name, and became a right ass when anyone asked him how he’d come to hate you.”
Alex slumped against the tree, suddenly weary. “You cannot blame him for our falling out. I wounded him, grievously, but I cannot tell you how. It isn’t my place to say.”
“And it isn’t my place to tell you why Cynthia is out to get him.”
“Isn’t it?” Alex challenged. “You said it yourself—sooner or later the time will come for you to be the friend who steps in to do something. This Gossip woman knows you all are the Gentleman Courtesans, and I assume she has proof. If we don’t help him, he’ll be ruined, and the rest of you along with him. Think of your wife, Nick. Think of how the scandal will affect her.”
“Goddamn it,” Nick muttered. “I’d forgotten that you’re almost always right. I also forgot how much I hate you for it.”
Alex chuckled. “You don’t hate me.”
“No, I don’t. He’s going to know I’m the one who told you.”
“And he’ll bluster and roar like he always does, but in the end, he’ll thank you.”
