Page 37 of Her Beautiful Bastard
As he drew nearer, his long stride taking him over the uneven ground, he noticed the way twilight reflected off her hair, the way loosened wisps caressed her face and neck, the way she walked—her steps sure and purposeful, with a grace all her own.
Noticing his approach, she stopped, allowing him to catch her up.
“Good evening,” he said once he had reached her. “I did not realize your walks took you so far from the manor.”
Shrugging, she accepted his offered arm and fell in step with him as he continued walking. He did not question that she allowed the intimacy. Perhaps their distance from the house made her comfortable being close to him. Or, like him, she had craved the contact. It was a foolish hope, but knowing she’d thought of him as often as he had her all these years made him wonder if, even now, she missed him as much as he did her when they were apart.
“Not always,” she replied. “But I received a letter from home and wished to walk while reading. It was filled with so much news from Oakmoor that by the time I’d finished it, I realized I had wandered quite far.”
He smiled, clearly detecting the warmth in her voice at the mention of her family. “All is well in Norfolk, I hope?”
Her teeth flashed white in the dark when she smiled. “Yes, actually. Michael writes that Amelia is with child again. Their brood will overtake Oakmoor before long.”
His gut twisted, his heart plummeting even as he realized how excited she must be to have yet another niece or nephew to love. Yet, he could not help the twinge of agony that resounded through him at the thought of a manor home such as his overrun with children. It was what he had wanted, one of the many reasons he had worked so hard to secure Buckton for himself and Drucilla. It was supposed to have been the place they would grow old together, fill with children. His progeny would return often, and perhaps even some of them might choose to remain, adding grandchildren to the household. Buckton filled with running feet and laughter … it would have been the manifestation of his every dream. Yet, it would never be his, and hearing that some other man—some man he did not know, but envied—seemed to be living it, made him want to weep.
He studied Lydia from the corner of his eye and wondered if she felt the same way, if she’d wanted a family of her own but now found herself helping to raise another woman’s child. His gaze slid down her body, to the front of her gown lying flat against her belly. What he wouldn’t give to be the one to give her the children she might have wanted, to watch her grow. As wonderful a governess as she made, he knew she could be an even better mother.
“Your mother must be elated,” he said once he’d found words again.
“Oh, certainly,” she replied. “Michael says she has never been happier, being so surrounded by little ones. She is in the midst of planning a celebration for my nephew’s seventh birthday in a few weeks.”
Sinclair inclined his head. “It sounds as if life at Oakmoor is never dull.”
“Certainly not. We Darlings love any excuse to plan a party. With such a growing family, it seems there is always something to make a fuss over.”
“You must miss it.”
She sighed, the sound so soft, he wondered if Lydia even realized she had made it.
“I do … not that I have not enjoyed my time at Buckton. I truly have. Henry has been the best pupil I’ve had the privilege of instructing. His pranks certainly keep my days lively.”
That got another laugh out of him. “Care to tell me about his latest stunt?”
“Oh, it was quite brilliant, really,” she said with a little giggle. “I came into my chamber a few nights past and opened the drapes to allow in a little moonlight. It was then I saw the shadow of a great bat against the window, flapping about … it scared me half to death!”
Sinclair’s lips quivered as he tried not to laugh at her expense. “It was not a bat, obviously.”
“Only a bit of paper he’d cut out and affixed to a few twigs,” she replied between laughs. “He’d tied it to a string outside the window. In the dark, with the breeze blowing just so, it appeared quite real. Bloody brilliant of him. I’ll have to think of something especially diabolical to repay him.”
The two exchanged glances and erupted into laughter again, the sound carrying out over the grounds as they began drawing nearer to the house. He could see it against the horizon, outlined by moonlight, and his heart sank. Slowing his steps, he hoped to create more time with her out of Drucilla’s reach, outside of the walls of a house that reminded him of all the reasons Lydia couldn’t be his.
“I had hoped to see you before tomorrow,” she said after a moment. “I realize that your days have been quite busy, so you may not be aware that Lady Clayton decided Henry should have a respite from his studies during the house party.”
He nodded. “I was not informed, but I can understand why. With so much activity in the house, he is bound to be distracted.”
“Yes, that is what Lady Clayton said,” she replied. “However, you should also know that she has invited me to take part in the festivities. Charles and I both, actually.”
That did give Sinclair pause. He came to a stop, forcing her to halt along with him, their arms still linked. He released her, turning so he could look down into her eyes.
“You are not obligated to attend,” he stated, his mind reeling as he tried to determine what Drucilla could be about … what she thought to accomplish by inviting the governess and steward to her house party. He suffered no delusion that it had been done out of the kindness of her heart.
Lydia shook her head. “I want to. Besides … nothing could be more boring than hiding away in my room while you get to have all the fun.”
He could not help but smile at that as he heard what she said, as well as what she did not say. Drucilla could not intimidate her. She had done nothing wrong and had no reason to hide. Despite being slightly on edge without knowing exactly what his wife might be up to, Sinclair found he would enjoy the party all the more with Lydia about.
“Perhaps you will join the men on the hunt,” he quipped. “I know a few who could learn quite a bit from observing you with a rifle.”
She snorted. “Yes, that will certainly be entertaining.”
