Page 61 of Her Beautiful Bastard
She frowned. “As much as I would like that, my place is in Buckton. I want to be here when you return.”
His lips curved into a slight smile. “I would like nothing more than to return to you waiting for me. But, I cannot know how long we will remain at Belcourt, and I hate the thought of you left here alone with nothing to do. At least, if you return to Norfolk for a time you will be surrounded by your family. I know they must miss you terribly.”
And she missed them. Another letter had come from Oakmoor, filled with news of home and her family. Visiting them was a good idea and would help occupy her while Sinclair and Henry were gone to Belcourt. Still …
“I am not certain I will know what to do without you,” she told him. “Occupying a space that you do not fill.”
“Neither do I,” he admitted. “But, perhaps it is for the best, just for now. I will send word when we are prepared to return home, and send a coach to retrieve you.”
She nestled closer to him, resting her head against his chest. “Very well. I shall miss you terribly, and Henry, as well. How is he?”
He sighed, his grip on her tightening. “He finally fell asleep just before I came here. I think the strain and exhaustion claimed him. He slept like the dead, but I told Mrs. Beecham to send for me should he awaken in the night.”
“The poor love,” she murmured. “I can remember losing my father and feeling as if my entire world had been shattered. But I was older than Henry then. I cannot imagine how he must feel.”
“Neither can I,” he said. “I was not so young as Henry either when my own mother died. I do not know how I will ever manage to get him through this.”
“I know it will be difficult, but I believe that no one could do a better job of caring for him during this time than you. The two of you will get through this together, Sin. You’ll rely on each other. It will take time, but Henry will be all right someday.”
Kissing her forehead, he gathered her even closer, until their bodies mashed together from shoulder to hip. “You are a godsend, angel. Do you know that? I do not think I could weather this without you. And I know it may be too soon to speak of this, but … whatever the future holds from here, I need you to know that I want you in it.”
Tears stung her eyes once again, but she tried to hold them in, wanting to maintain at least an outward strength for his sake. “I want that, too. Even when I feel like the worst sort of person for wanting it.”
“I understand the sentiment,” he assured her. “I know that I must first finish burying the past, closing the door on past chapters before beginning a new one. I just needed you to know. I love you, Lydia, and when all this has ended, that will not have changed. When I return home, it will be with every intention of showing you every day just how much you mean to me.”
She could not hold the tears back any longer, her elation at finally hearing those words from his lips making one tear leak out the corner of one eye, followed by another, and another.
“I love you, too, Sin,” she whispered hoarsely. “And I want that, too. All of it, with you.”
He captured her mouth, engaging her in a melding of lips and tongues and souls. She felt the kiss deep, its warmth suffusing her from the inside out, the surface of her skin tingling as she became more and more aware of his nudity, his cock beginning to stir between them.
“Lydia,” he murmured against her lips. “We have waited because it felt right to do so, but tonight, I need you. I need you now.”
She turned him so that he lay on his back, then came over him, all her most intimate places pressed against his. Bracing her hands against his chest, she kissed him again, deeper this time, slipping her tongue into his mouth and writhing against him, creating friction and heat between their bodies. She needed him, too. She needed to have him this one time before they were separated for weeks, perhaps even months. Parting did not worry her, for she knew his love for her was as real now as it had ever been, perhaps even more so after all they had weathered to be able to look one another in the eye and confess their adoration. But, she could not leave him tomorrow without this, the joining of their bodies and solidification of all the things they felt for one another.
“Yes, Sin,” she murmured against his mouth, reaching between them to palm his cock. “Yes.”
He groaned, surging his hips to thrust the hard, pulsating length into the circle of her fist, a bead of moisture wetting her fingers. She kissed his neck, his shoulder, working her way down his body while steadily teasing him to full hardness, marveling at the way the organ in her hand grew in reaction to the stimuli. Even being told all there was to know about intercourse could not have prepared her for the real thing … for being with Sin and finding out for herself how it could be with the man she loved.
His hands tangled in her hair, holding tight as she crouched between his legs, her tongue circling slowly around his engorged head. Another drop of his mettle found her tongue, and she moaned at the taste of him, primal and masculine. She sucked him into her mouth with more relish and less timidity than she had the first time, knowing now how he would react, the things that would drive him mad with lust.
His hips undulated in rhythm with the strokes of her mouth, each upward movement timed with her downward ones. He went slowly at first, then quickened when she found his desired pace, relaxing her jaw and surrendering to him, allowing him to fuck her mouth the way he wanted. Despite being the one giving pleasure, her body reacted to each of his groans and sharp breaths, her breasts tingling, the tips going tight, and her core pulsing with every beat of her heart, wetness already beginning to gather there. She felt as if each sound from him were a caress, stroking down her spine, filling the spaces within her that hungered for him.
She opened her eyes, glancing up to watch him enjoy giving himself up to her, captivated by the sight he made. Chest and stomach tight and strained as he seemed to fight against climaxing in her mouth while still seeking the pleasure, thrusting into the open cavern of her mouth. Sweat had begun gathering along his brow, his eyes squeezed shut, lips parted as guttural groans of pure ecstasy spilled from him in time with the pulls of her mouth. She tentatively brought her fingers to the swollen sac below the root of his cock, eyes widening when he responded with a hoarse shout. Realizing it increased his pleasure, she went on fondling him there, exploring him as she had not done before, gently squeezing and caressing him while working him with her mouth.
“God, Lydia,” he groaned, his hold on her hair becoming downright painful, his thrusts into her mouth less precise. “You have to stop, or I’ll … damn it, stop … no, don’t …”
She smirked as she released him from her mouth, responding to the pull of his hands in her hair. He breathed heavily, shuddering as he seemed to try to bring himself back under control. She would have been happy to continue, having quite enjoyed the heady pleasure of making him spend in her mouth as she had their first night together. Sinclair had other ideas, however, reaching for her with insistent hands to urge her back over his body.
He stole a swift kiss, but continued moving her up his body, up and up until she was straddling his head. Her cheeks burned as he grasped her hips, positioning her so that her quim hovered within his line of sight.
“Sin,” she protested, slightly embarrassed, but also curious as he pried her thighs farther apart, then opened her lower lips, staring up at the hidden pink flesh. “What—”
His tongue lashing against her clit stole the air from her lungs, and her words broke off on a startled gasp. She had to reach out to grasp the headboard in order to steady herself, her hips bucking as he licked her again and again, making little sounds in the back of his throat as if responding to the taste of her.
She forgot her reticence in an instant, unable to think past the feel of his lips and tongue against her, the angle achieved by the position over him changing the experience so that it was different despite being similar to the first time he’d put his mouth there. He squeezed her thighs, then gripped her buttocks, urging her even closer, deeper into his mouth. He suckled at her, torturing the little bud of her pleasure, drawing sharp cries of bliss from her. Her hips moved of their own accord, and she rode his mouth much the way he had done hers, her grip so tight on the headboard, she was surprised her fingernails did not gouge the wood.
He managed to slip a finger between his face and her groin, seeking her opening. Her head fell back, another cry lodging in her chest as he slid one finger, then another into her, taking up a steady rhythm inside as his tongue went on working at her clit, coaxing so much moisture from her, it was a wonder he did not drown in it. She lost herself to it, to the explosive pleasure of his tongue on her while his fingers filled her, twisting to find a place inside her that made her toes curl and her entire body tremble with the force of an impending climax.
