Page 2 of Love Me Darkly
“I’m just saying, it’s worth exploring,” Williams argued. “This guy doesn’t leave a single indication he’s been at the crime scenes—not a footprint, a hair, or a drop of saliva, semen, or blood. His M.O. is sadistic but hardly novel. What else is there for us to go off of than the occult stuff?”
“Look,” Mateo cut in before Smith and Williams could start bickering. “We are not ignoring the symbolism and ritual nature of the murders. We just don’t know how to fit those aspects into the profile yet. It’s possible that any religious convictions are nothing more than a tool by which he justifies his victim selection. Maybe something in Little Rock will push us in the right direction. Either way, our flight leaves in three hours. Don’t be late.”
He had barely made it three steps from the conference room before a voice called out to him from down the hall.
“Garcia, I need to see you in my office.”
He glanced up to find Assistant Director Carlisle, his boss, standing in the doorway of her office. Suppressing a groan, he obeyed, parting ways with his team as they left to prepare for the flight.
“Close the door, please,” Carlisle said, sinking into the chair behind her desk.
He took one of the two chairs facing the desk and reached up to loosen his tie, then flicked open the top button of his shirt. He hated suits and ties but found them necessary when working in the office for professionalism and covering his tattoos. Only a few showed when he wore short sleeves, but he preferred to cover them when at work. Being an SSA meant he had to uphold certain standards.
The assistant director stared at him for a while, the lines in her weathered face seeming deeper than usual. Her sharp, blue eyes assessed him from behind the frames of her glasses while her long, manicured fingernails tapped against the desk in a staccato rhythm. She frowned. He wondered if she was trying to decide whether he’d finally lost his mind—whether she’d be justified in pulling him off this case once and for all. While he’d been able to fight his way back onto the case, he remained constantly aware of her watchful eye.
“Ma’am?” he prodded when she neglected to speak.
She shuffled a few files on her desk, moved them to the side, then folded her hands in front of her. “I understand The Satanist has killed again.”
He fought the urge to scream and throw something, telling her to stop calling his UNSUB by that ridiculous nickname. But this was his boss, who already thought him unstable. No use adding fuel to that little fire.
“In Little Rock. We’re heading out today to examine the crime scene.”
Nodding, Carlisle reached up to remove her glasses. She sighed, lowering them to the table and smoothing a hand over her neat hair. “Garcia, I have to tell you, I have some concerns.”
“I’m fine,” he interjected, fighting to keep the low growl of annoyance out of his voice and failing.
Why wouldn’t people just leave him the fuck alone and let him do his job? Didn’t they know it was the only thing he had left?
“I am aware that you were cleared to return after time off and a psych evaluation,” she relented. “But we can all see that this case—this UNSUB—is taking a toll on you. You walk around this office like a ghost most days, and your obsession with this case leaves you very little time for the others on your docket.”
Mateo’s nostrils flared as he heaved an annoyed sigh. “Have I failed to do anything this bureau has asked of me, ever?”
Carlisle wrinkled her brow in a sympathetic gesture that made him grit his teeth. “No. Never. But you haven’t been yourself. You’re cold and withdrawn. You drive your team at a relentless pace. You seem to spend more time here than you do at home. No one will judge you if you hand it over to someone else. SA Smith has the knowledge and experience to take things from here.”
Give up this case, after all it had taken from him? He would rather die. “I don’t need?—”
“When was the last time you saw your daughter? Why don’t you go visit her? Take her on a trip or something. There’s nothing wrong with admitting that it’s becoming too much for you.”
He hadn’t seen Angelica since Mariana’s funeral, and it wouldn’t be safe for her to be anywhere near him until this case had been solved. If the UNSUB could take his wife from him, he could also take Mateo’s only child. Losing her would end him, so he’d sent her away to protect her—the only thing he had left in the world besides this job.
“Take a trip …” trailing off, he scoffed. “And where do you suggest I take her? Should I bring my gun and look over my shoulder every second to make sure someone doesn’t jump out of the bushes and grab her? Someone who has it out for me and knows who I am, where I live—when I know nothing about him? Has it occurred to you that the UNSUB might be lingering near the crime scenes, and that’s how he figured out I was the lead agent on this case? Because it’s occurred to me every day since that motherfucker murdered my wife. Or what if it was an inside job, and he has some connection to the bureau? He’ll know where I’m going and who I’m with faster than you will. If he can get that close to me, to her, do you honestly think a secret vacation is a good idea?”
His determination to remain calm evaporated as his frustration rose to the surface. He still wasn’t entirely certain why the UNSUB had targeted him, or how the man he ferreted out his identity for that matter. His best guess was that he had gotten too close to the UNSUB’s identity or some other illuminating piece of information.
Clenching his shaking hands in his lap, he fought to control his breathing, to not raise his voice or flip the desk and tell Carlisle to fuck off.
Carlisle sighed. “If you’re careful and cover your tracks, he’ll never know where you are.”
Was she insane? There could be no ‘covering his tracks’ with this UNSUB—he’d proved that by snatching Mateo’s wife away from him with such ease it had been uncanny. But then, Mateo wasn’t as vigilant as he should have been. He had grown comfortable in the profile he’d developed, secure in the knowledge that the victims came from a very specific pool. He had been wrong, and it had cost him dearly.
“No. There’s no other way. I have to be the one to bring him in.”
“And if he can’t be brought in?”
“I’ll put a bullet between his eyes.”
Carlisle gave him a look that said she understood but also disapproved. Understood, because everyone knew what this UNSUB had taken from him. Disapproved, because Mateo had never failed to bring a suspect in alive. It was something he’d become known for in the fifteen years since he’d joined the bureau. If the UNSUB came back in a body bag, it would be because Mateo chose to break his pattern.
