Page 22 of Becoming His Perfect Daddy
I was home less than half an hour later, and Sam was still on my mind. How the hell was he consuming all my thoughts with just a brief, and admittedly swoon-worthy, meet-cute I didn’t know, and—
Nope, I was going to give up on the thought of Sam and I together and instead focus on something else. Anything else.
Something like S.M.C.
God, I loved talking to them. They’d given me glimpses into who they were in small ways—whether they were simply talking about their day or sharing their heart—and we’d swapped more answers to innocuous questions than I’d thought possible, so I was starting to build a picture of who they were. And what I’d learned, I liked. Hell, if I’d been getting to know this beautiful human in person, I might’ve even been starting to fall in love. Maybe I was regardless.
But that was crazy, right?
As I sometimes—read: often—did when I was lonely or just thinking about S.M.C., I pulled up our email thread and started back at the beginning. Rereading their words calmed somethinginside me, and a sense of rightness and belonging settled on my shoulders, into my soul.
I reread their first email to me, sent so many months ago, the words now familiar and worn into my neural pathways. About how much my writing meant to him, how much he loved Jay and Jesse’s story, about Hudson—
And inspiration finally, after many,manymonths, hit me right between the eyes.
My eyes shot wide, and I tabbed over to my open and empty manuscript. And started writing.
When I’d started thinking about Charlie’s book, I’d plotted how the story would unfold. But now, I knew that was all wrong. Because Hudson was an integral part of Charlie’s love story, too.
I’d originally planned a character named Theo for Charlie, a stern but loving Daddy to keep Charlie in line, and Theo was perfect for him. But their story felt incomplete. I still wasn’t entirely sure how to fit him in, but I knew Hudson’s pragmatic side was the perfect complement to Charlie’s effervescent personality.
So I kept writing, excited to see where things would go, and over the next few weeks, Hudson started to weave himself seamlessly into the story. Of course, not intentionally on his part. No, he’d just coincidentally show up at the coffee shop where Charlie and Theo were having their first date. Or he’d be there when Charlie had to step outside to catch his breath after Theo kissed him for the first time. And he’d gotten in Theo’s face when he hadn’t put Charlie first and needed to be put in his place.
I couldn’t wait to see where their story went.
Tax Day came and went, and Sam rarely left my mind. But I kept myself busy writing, and the story had finally taken shape. Both Charlie and Theo—though Theo acknowledged it first—started to realize that their relationship wouldn’t be completewithout Hudson right in the middle of it. Their dramatic climax had my heart racing and my fingers moving as fast as they could go.
I finished the book in record time, despite finishing up my busiest tax season yet, and even though I’d gone off-plot and smashed my outline to hell, I knew this book was special.
And it was all because S.M.C., my anonymous—well,bookadmirer, anyway,I unhelpfully reminded myself—had reached out, planted the seed. And because my best friend, Tristan, had suggested I give them a chance. And because my one encounter with Sam all those weeks ago had given me a reason to pour myself into my writing so he wouldn’t consume my every thought. I’d almost forgotten about him.
Almost.
I glanced back over S.M.C.’s original email yet again, and a smile spread across my face. S.M.C. had said I’d changed their life, and I’d take them at their word. Because with their email, they’d kind of changed mine.
Whoever they were.
May 16th
Cameron,
Remember how, when you were a kid, you’d look up to all those adults in your life and wish you had it all together like they did?
Yeah, they never had it all together. It was all lies. LIES, I tell you!
I’m doing something really hard today, something that makes me wish I actually had everything figured out, had my life together. Honestly, I feel like I never will. Nothing makes it easier, either.
So the hard thing . . . you know those siblings I told you about? I have to tell them something that will change how they see me. I’m scared to death. I hope they’ll listen and be supportive, but I can’t really know that, can I?
My parents are a whole other thing, so I’m waiting to tell them, and I doubt they’ll react well to my news. I wish my family could accept me without question, love me without conditions. But given the way I grew up, that just doesn’t seem likely or even possible.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to be a downer today. But you said you’d listen, and I’m just not strong enough not to take you up on it. I promise my next email won’t be so serious.
Or maybe I’ll just give you a dose of sunshiny goodness like the weather today. Summer’s almost here!
Always,
S.M.C.
