Page 23 of Second Start: Family
And what would he do? Wasn’t like he could drop into a good job and say, hey, I always meant to finish college, but things got in the way. Skills? I can doctor a heifer, pull a calf, and hold together a combine if I’m given enough baling wire, time, and luck.
What would that resume get him in the job market?
*
Kenzie took Vicky’s place outside watching the kids not yet picked up by their parents while Vicky took Hall back inside.
Vicky gave him the excellent report on Dan’s academics.
“Now,” she said. “We talk about the scholarship. I am sorry you didn’t hear about it from me first, but that’s the only thing I’m sorry about.”
She didn’t pull her punches or mask her view that Dan deserved that scholarship and he should get the chance.
Hall didn’t pull punches, either. His son wasn’t leaving home in a little less than a year.
“Don’t you want Dan to go to college?”
“Yeah, but that’s five years off. A lot of time. A lot of growing for Dan to do.”
Their bank account maybe, too. It had been heading the right direction until this combiner repair. Not impressive to anyone else, but a real difference from what he’d inherited.
“Dan would grow in Cheyenne, same as here, and he’d learn a lot more.”
Maybe Dan would grow the way Vick meant it. For sure, he’d grow away from his family.
Hall didn’t say that.
Vicky leaned forward over her crossed hands on her desk.
“The test’s not until early December so we have time to talk this through more, Hall. But I’m telling you now, I’m putting Dan in for that scholarship. I don’t need your permission for that. No—” She held up a silencing palm to him. “—I know he can’t go to Cheyenne without your permission. But he can take the test and he can be offered the scholarship. And assuming it gets to that point — and I firmly believe it will — you will then have the decision to make about whether your son gets this opportunity. Or not.
“You’ve lost the chance to treat him like a child. You have to get that in when they’re little. With Bobby, you can be his dad, and build that up. Even with the girls, because in some ways girls are more forgiving of their fathers. But with Dan, you’re going to have to meet him at another level.”
“Be his friend? Is that what you’re saying? I’m not his buddy. I’m responsible for him and his sisters and his brother, and I’ve got to have him doing what I tell him to. Being his buddy isn’t going to cut it.”
“No, it’s not. Not to mention who’d want a buddy like you? No, think of it more as being a good boss — or a good commanding officer. To get the most from your troops you’ve got to get their respect, and you’d better persuade them you’re all fighting on the same side.”
“What makes you think we are.”
She scoffed with a sound. “Of course you are. You’re also the only one who knows what he’d encounter as a scholarship student in Cheyenne.”
For a long moment he said nothing.
“I was lonely. I missed my folks. I missed our place. I missed this rhythm. I missed knowing everyone — anyone. I missed fitting in.
“And then came Annie. Annie offered me a place to belong. Don’t get me wrong. I was more than willing. I just didn’t know what the price would be.” After a beat, he added, “Maybe she didn’t, either.”
“She built the life she wanted, Hall. Nothing you could have done or said would have stopped her. You might not have been the daddy, but she’d have had those kids. And they wouldn’t be in nearly as good hands now.”
His head dropped as he loosely wove his fingers together. “Right.”
“You’re doing fine, Hall. Give yourself a break. Give Dan a break, too, but start with you. You’re too hard on yourself. You do know Annie used that against you, don’t you?”
He looked up. “You never liked her.”
“No, I never did. But wipe that expression off your face and those thoughts out of your mind. Curb your ego. It was never about you. It was…” She made a sort of humming sound. “Visceral. And frustrating. It was like I could see the portrait in the attic and nobody else could.”
He frowned slightly. “That story about the guy named Gray.”
