Page 26 of Into the Dark, We Go
I hesitated. "I don’t know."
I’d never navigated a situation like that before. When Lucas went missing, I was alone in my grief. Now, I was struggling to find words to console June. I felt like a trapezist, walking the fine line between offering comfort and overstepping the fragile connection we’d established. Nothing I could say would ease her pain.
June’s silence stretched a beat before she added, "Do you think we’ll find Lucas in Black Water?"
I shook my head. "No... I don’t think so."
"Then why are you even here?"
I took a deep breath. "I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t try."
June’s voice cracked in the darkness. "I want Amanda to come back."
My heart went out to her. "Me too."
She choked back a sob and whispered, "I don’t think she will, though."
That night,I had a dream about Lucas. He stood alone in the empty stadium, impassiveness dulling his features. I expected to feel happiness, or at least relief, at seeing him. God knew I wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around his waist, and rest my head beneath his chin.
I was rooted to the spot, paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t move or look away.
My legs felt rooted, deeper than the trees that grew through the bleachers, as if nature had claimed the place long ago. Lucas slipped backward, vanishing into their shadows. Silent, menacing, like a ghoul.
I tried to flee, but my limbs were lead, pulling me to my hands and knees. Grass shifted beneath my fingers, rolling into a damp, mossy floor speckled with stones and twigs and foetid animal carcasses.
I tried to crawl away, to writhe with the worms spilling from the dull eyes and open mouths of deer, but my body was heavy and unresponsive.
Help!
Every time I looked away, the trees crept closer.
I hid my face in the collar of my shirt. Another presence shifted nearby, heavy as a storm, but I was too afraid to look up.
My mouth moved to form words.Please. Leave me alone. Go away.But they stayed trapped in my head, a whisper dying in my arid throat.
And then, I heard his voice.
"Nell."
I looked up.
Symbols were burned into the trunks of trees around us. Crows perched on their wiry branches, watching with unforgiving eyes.
"Lucas?"
He emerged from the dark all at once, his eyes staring past me as he came closer, but his feet barely moved. He was gliding, a puppet suspended in the air. It looked like him, but he was all angles and blurred edges. Skin turned to moss and bone.
I willed myself to wake up, certain this was a nightmare, but my eyes locked onto the figure standing over me. Lucas’s image was frozen, unyielding, like a photograph. It seared into my mind like a branding iron. His gray, unblinking eyes wouldn’t release me. I tried to scream, but only air rushed out.
A crushing weight pinned me down, making every breath a struggle. I squirmed beneath him, slapping and kicking for freedom. My throat was on fire, and my vision flashed.
Then, as suddenly as it began, the pressure lifted, and I choked on the scent of wet wood and mulch and the muskiness of old sheets. I bolted upright in bed, drenched with sweat, my heart racing like a wild animal.
I frantically scanned the room, but Lucas wasn’t there. June slept peacefully in her bed. She’d thrown the covers off. Her T-shirt had ridden up, exposing her pierced belly button. Her gentle breathing was accompanied by soft, quiet snores.
The room was stifling and heavy with heat, and the air conditioning busted. I tossed aside the tangled sheets and stumbled to the window, gulping down a rush of cool air.
I remained awake until dawn.
