Page 138 of Into the Dark, We Go
"Nell... It’s not—" he began, cautiously.
"Do you think I’m stupid?" But maybe I was. It was right there in front of me, and I never cared to check.
"Let me—" he tried again.
"Oh,nowyou want to explain? Now that I’ve pieced it all together myself?"
"I swear, I had nothing to do with it. I just… didn’t know how to tell you," Nick said, stepping toward me again before hesitating. "Nell…" he started, but I sucked in a sharp, furious breath—and that was enough. He stopped, lowering his head just a touch, shoulders falling.
"Okay," I said. "Then tell me. Tell me the whole truth. Right now."
He turned away, ran his hand over his face, and then turned back to me. Finally, he spoke, "My mother was born in Black Water. She got the grimoire from her great-grandmother. The story about the coven is partly true—only the grimoire never disappeared. It’s been in my family for generations. Maybe longer. I don’t really know."
He lifted his eyes to mine and continued.
"She met Robert when she was very young. Apparently, together they managed to decipher parts of the grimoire and create sigils that actually worked. At some point, she didn’t feel safe around him anymore. You’ve seen him. He was insane. That kind of power… it didn’t do him any good."
"What does Lucas have to do with it?"
"He stole the grimoire from her. She didn’t see it coming. She didn’t even know Robert’s son knew anything about it. Robert kept his wife in the dark, so it’s weird he told Lucas that much. But he did. Then Lucas forced her to grant his wish. Something ridiculous. Like to be a star athlete. Like getting into some hall of fame or whatever." Nick said, starting to roll his eyes.
That explained why Lucas had the grimoire. He didn’t steal it from his father. He stole it from the real coven leader—Nick’s mother. Robert didn’t kill his son.
But Lucas had come back different. So full of himself. So confident. No talismans, none of the usual gear he’d bring to a game. Just blind arrogance.
"And she sacrificed him instead? He didn’t even know?"
Nick nodded, eyes cast downward.
"How did you get us to come to you?"
"I didn’t. I wasn’t expecting you at all. But… I recognized you. After what my mother had done, I kept an eye on the story."
Silence stretched between us. He kept glancing from me to the floor.
"You believe all of this?"
"Don’t you?" he asked quietly. "You’ve seen it. With your own eyes."
"You made me think it was just my imagination."
"What did you want me to say? That it was all real? You were already barely sleeping. You looked like a ghost. How could I do that to you?"
"You did so much worse," I said, my voice low, soaked in contempt.
"I never wanted any of this to happen to you."
"But it was worth it in the end, wasn’t it?" I said, the venom in my tone reminding me of my mother during her fights with Dad. "You got what you came for. In fact, I handed it to you."
"The grimoire’s been in my family for centuries. I can’t let it be out there for anyone to figure out. I just wanted to keep it safe."
But he was lying to me and himself. I could see it already beginning to consume him. That same glossed-over look in his eyes I’d seen in Robert’s. Even if he meant to keep it safe, there was no guarantee he wouldn’t go down the same path. Just like his mother. Just like Robert.
How could he hold me, care for me, be with me every night and lie to me so completely? The betrayal burned so deep I thought it might split me in two. But I held onto the anger. Clung to it. Because anger is easier than heartbreak. Easier than shattering into pieces right in front of him.
"What about Mathilda? What’s her deal? She knew you, didn’t she?"
"She knew my mother. But I swear, I didn’t lie to you. I had no idea who she was. She said my mother helped her years ago, and Mathilda felt grateful. Attached. That’s why I asked her to be the one to lead us to the clearing."
