Page 139 of Into the Dark, We Go
The clearing, nestled in the woods his mother once owned, now his. A place where people came willingly, hoping for their wishes to be granted, only to be sacrificed and vanish without a trace.
"Why am I here?" I asked quietly. "Keeping me close just so you could watch me? Make sure I didn’t find out?"
"I didn’t bring you here to trap you. I brought you here because I didn’t know how else to keep you safe," Nick said. "Because when I’m with you, I don’t feel like I’m drowning in all the crap my mother left behind. Because you’re the only thing that feels real in all this mess."
He stepped forward carefully and placed his hands around me, touching me ever so slightly. I pulled away.
He wasn’t the Prince Charming, saving me from the dragon. He was the wicked wizard, condemning me to the tower.
"Nell—" he began, but I cut him off.
"You’re a coward, hiding behind our backs."
Nick tried to speak, but I interrupted him again.
"I have one more question."
"Ask away," he said, hopelessly. He didn’t bother denying the accusations. He knew they were true. He held my gaze, finally owning up to it.
"Did you know your mother planned to kill Lucas?"
Nick’s jaw clenched in anguish. His face twisted in a struggle to find words, but none came. I closed my eyes, fighting back tears.
"I do care about you. I looked out for Mitch and June, too. I never meant to lie. I just didn’t know how to explain without being the bad guy. They wouldn’t believe me."
He skirted the question, but in doing so, revealed the truth.
"You’re not just the bad guy, Nick," I hissed, "You’re the villain."
"I’m not! I wanted the grimoire to stop Robert’s harm."
I shook my head. "I have no idea why you wanted the grimoire, but stopping Robert was just an excuse. Ironically, if you’d told us earlier, we would’ve taken you at your word. Now, no one will believe you. But it doesn’t matter, does it? You’ve got your precious grimoire."
"Do you know what your problem is?" Nick snapped, shifting from forced calm to full attack mode. He uncrossed his arms and stepped forward, making me instinctively retreat.
"Your problem is that you live in an idealistic delusion where good is absolute," he continued, tossing his hands in the air. "But the world isn’t black and white. Good needs fists and weapons to fight back—and sometimes to strike first."
He sounded uncannily like Robert, rationalizing every choice he’d made.
"You’re right, the world isn’t black and white," I agreed. "But I won’t let you—or anyone else—dictate my morals. You lied to us from the start. It almost got me killed. How can I believe you now?"
"Would you have believed me then? All you, Mitch, and June did was suspect me!" He was losing his patience, edging on desperate.
"All I did was defend you and find excuses for you!" I sobbed, hastily wiping tears away with the back of my hand.
His chest rose and fell with a slow breath. "I’ll do anything to prove you can trust me."
"Then do it," I said, "Destroy the grimoire."
He went still. "I can’t."
"Are you going to use it for a summoning again?"
"What? No!"
"Then destroy it! Prove that I can trust you."
His gaze dropped again, and he repeated, "I can’t."
