Page 75 of Don't Remind Me
In most ways, the night had been perfect. Exactly what I’d imagined it being three months ago. As the last of the guests departed, telling me how much they were looking forward to the event again next year, it didn’t feel surreal like most of my successes had up to now.
Mostly, I just felt tired.
Across the lobby, I spotted Alec and Stephanie waiting for the elevator. His arm was around her shoulder, her head on his chest as she leaned against him in a picture of contentment. They really did look good together. And after seeing them tonight, it was obvious it was more than just how they looked.
They worked. Fit in that way most couples hoped to fit but so few seemed to truly manage. The way that appeared easy, but you could tell from how they talked and interacted with each other was built on years of trust, communication, and effort.
I watched them and waited, bracing for the gut punch of jealousy to slam into me. For the self-doubt to sneak up, always a hair short of regret, that had me questioning every decision I’d made since college, wondering about the trajectory of my life.
It never came.
There instead was recognition of a life that never belonged to me. Not because I wasn’t worthy of it but because it never would have made me happy.
Not the way they were together.
Not the way I knew I could be.
That was the thought that dragged the sliver of unease up from where I’d buried it all night. Because for once, I knew what I wanted, straight down to my gut.
I wanted to go home with Jase and fall asleep in his arms. I wanted him to take me to his parents’ house so his family could meet me—thisme, the me I felt at home in. I wanted us to go on more dates and order entire menus and compete for which of us Baxter cuddled with more.
I wanted us to work. To fit. To bicker and argue and talk it out and make up. To always be the place we could be real, no masks.
But that future wasn’t up to just me. And no matter how willing I was to navigate the storm, there was always a chance of being thrown overboard.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jase
My brother steppedinto the elevator with his wife curled against his side, Dani’s eyes never once leaving them, and all I could think as I watched her from across the lobby wasWhat if he’s the one she really wants?
I hadn’t been able to look at her after he’d shown up, afraid I’d find the answer in her eyes. See her gaze at him with the same openness and longing she’d started to direct at me, butmore, weighed by years of want and regret.
It would break me.
More than anything my parents could ever say.
When I’d walked back into the kitchen, Aubrey had taken one look at me and stopped mid plating. “What happened?”
“My brother’s here.”What if he’s the one she really wants?
I’d tugged my chef jacket on over my shirt, not bothering to change out of my dress clothes, needing a cutting board or sauté pan or sheet tray in my hands—any task to bury myself in to escape the thought of the woman I loved and my brother who she’d loved first.
Aubrey hadn’t asked more questions; she just went back to work, taking the lead like she had the day before as practice for tonight. My grand idea. Let Aubrey act as head chef so I could surprise Dani with a dance.
One hell of a different surprise we’d gotten instead.
The elevator doors closed, and Dani’s gaze lifted to me. It stayed there with an expression I was too far away to see clearly, the distance offering as much pain as it did relief.
Which was why when she took a step forward, I did too. And another. Until we were only a few feet apart. Too far to touch but close enough for me to make out the strain in her eyes, the beauty of their blue-green color too much for me to take.
My gaze dropped to my shoes, my right hand tightening around my chef jacket. I wanted to slip it on and wear it like a shield. Not that it would work on her—my shields never had. And it wasn’t her that was hurting me now anyway. Not really.
“Will you look at me?” she asked, her words agonizingly soft. So soft they threatened to topple me.
I flicked my gaze up and caught the corner of her jaw, the long line of her neck, the shine of her hair, before it was too much.
What if he’s the one she really wants?
