Page 78 of Don't Remind Me
“But you’ll never feel like you’re enough if you keep telling yourself you’re not. Because youareenough. Exactly as you are, in all the ways you are similar to your brother and in all the ways you are different.”
I spit out a laugh. “Learn to love myself before anyone else can, is that it?”
“No,” he said simply. “Just learn to trust her when she tells yousheloves you.”
“She hasn’t told me she loves me.”
“Have you told her you love her?”
He had me there. He knew it too.
“What has she said?”
I thought back to the day of the menu tasting when she’d first tried my food. What she’d told Jillian.“You were right about Jase. He’s incredibly talented.”
I remembered the way she looked at me right before the first time I kissed her, when she’d called me a liar. How she’d looked at me the same way after I’d asked her if she liked dancing with me, and she’d said,“Yeah, I do.”
“You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
That one.
That one had nearly wrecked me from how scared I’d been to believe it. I still was. Maybe Dr. Ohara knew that too.
“You don’t have to believe you’re enough to be with her, Jase,” he said as if reading my mind. “What you have to believe is thatshethinks you’re enough. Trust her judgment. Trust her to know her own mind, even if you’re struggling to find peace with yours. Take her at face value when she says she couldn’t have done last night without you. Whether you agree or not, it’shertruth. Honor it. Believe your staff and your boss. Believe your friends. Hell, believe your cat. The people in your life who make you feel good to be around, who make it easy to be you? Believethemwhen they say you’re worth it. Let them love you. That’s how you’ll learn to love you too.”
“What if they’re wrong?” I asked, voice shaking.
For fuck’s sake, my own parents thought I was a fuckup. Weren’t they the ones who were supposed to love me most of all, no matter what? How was I supposed to trust what anyone else thought of me if they didn’t see it?
“They’re not.” His words were so matter-of-fact, as if there was no question about it.
“How do you know?”
“Because, Jase,” he said, and this time, I was pretty sure it was with amusement. “Everyone’s enough. The ones who don’t see it just aren’t really looking.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Dani
“Thank you again.I’ll be in touch.” I shook the hand of one of the silent auction winners from last night before she walked out the hotel’s main doors to her waiting taxi.
I wasn’t the official farewell committee, but I’d sort of fallen into the role while carting the rest of HBC’s stuff to the lobby to be packed into volunteer cars and brought back to the office.
Most of the out-of-town guests had already left, the hotel’s impressive continental breakfast was winding down, and as soon as the last of these boxes were out of here, I would be too, back to my apartment and into pajamas, where I’d spend the rest of the day vegging out on my couch while watching reruns ofProject Runway.
There would be no productivity until Tuesday since Talia insisted I take Monday off, and honestly, I wasn’t sure my brain would fully work again until then anyway. Especially after I’d spent all last night poring over our final fundraiser numbers to keep from focusing on anything else that had happened.
I wanted to text him.
I wanted to text him so badly to tell him how much more we’d raised than we’d hoped, and how every single guest I spoke to raved about the food. I wanted to send him every online article and social media post I saw about the virtual panel, which I never would have had the courage to suggest doing in the first place if it weren’t for him.
I wanted to ask him if he was okay. If I could come over.
I wanted to hold him. Kiss him. Curl into him and around him and meld myself to him, catch the pieces of him that so desperately needed to fall apart so they could fit themselves back together without all the rust and gunk and pain that was wedged in there now.
I just wanted to see him. Hear his voice. Read his name pop up on my phone.
It wouldn’t. Not today, at least.
