Page 38 of Don't Remind Me
“Right?” Robin replied. Her red lipstick was the same bright color as her hair, both still managing to pop under the dim lights.
The three of us had already performed on stage once—“Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child—something I never would have done a year ago for fear of sounding bad, of not being perfect. Which was exactly whyI’dnever done this before.
It was suddenly, blazingly clear. I’d spent my entire life trying to be perfect, convinced I had to be in order to receive the affection I craved.
Want Dad to show up for my dance recital? Better nail that routine. Want my report card hung on the refrigerator? Only if I got all A’s. Want Mom to show any interest in my career? Time to climb that corporate ladder.
It was a mask I’d constructed early on in an attempt to make order of the chaos my parents had dealt; one I’d only fastened on tighter with most of the guys I’d dated. No wonder I’d always been bored. They’d probably been doing the same thing as me, wearing masks of their own, presenting the versions of themselves they thought I wanted to see, leaving us with nothing but the performance of perfection between us.
Maybe that was why none of them had ever lived up to Alec.
Alec, who was so comfortable in his own skin. Who walked into any room and took ownership of it. Who knew exactly who he was and exactly what he wanted for himself. Alec, who, if I was honest with myself—and maybe the tequila was responsible for this, too, because I was all about the honesty tonight—had probably been a big part of the reason I’d felt the need for a mask at all. Or at least the need to keep wearing one. Because how could someone that perfect ever want to be with someone as ordinary as me?
Another singer got on stage, this one choosing a slower song I didn’t know, and Kelly drew our attention back to her.
“All right, ladies,” she said as if calling an official meeting to order. “Who are we serenading tonight? I call dibs on Mr. Man Bun in the back corner.”
She pointed across the room at a guy with muscles usually only seen on NFL linebackers, his dark blond hair pulled back into a messy bun that matched his gruff beard. He was all hers. I preferred lean muscle. Like the kind an infuriating chef I knew had.
Robin held her palms out in front of her. “No serenading for me. I want to see how things play out with Neela.”
My lips rose. “You two going on another date?” They’d been on one so far since the night we’d stayed late for drinks at Ardena, and from the bubbly smile on Robin’s face, it had gone well.
“Brunch tomorrow. Which means I need to cool it on the tequila shots. I’d like my hangover to be curable with waffles and hash browns and not the kind that requires half the day with my head in the toilet.”
“We’ll allow it,” Kelly decreed before turning to me. “That leaves you, Dani. Who’s it gonna be? Or are you holding out for a certain ex-boyfriend’s super-hot brother?” She crawled her fingers across the table. “Robin told me you two were making eyes at each other the other week.”
Robin and I shared a look. I’d filled her in on the whole Jase-avoiding-me situation, but I didn’t feel like rehashing it now. Tonight wasn’t about him. He’d made it clear where we stood, which was apparently as far from each other as physically possible, and that was fine by me. I didn’t need him to see me. I’d make sure someone else did instead.
“No brothers,” I said. I tossed back another tequila shot, letting the burn dissolve Jase from my thoughts. “Let’s go serenade it up.” I headed for the stage.
“Here, let me.”
Robin took the keys from my hand and opened the door to my building. I wasn’t fall-over wasted, but I’d hit that sleepy stage of drunkenness where even the wooden doorframe outside my apartment looked like a nice comfy place to lean my head and rest my eyes for a minute. She held the door open and ushered me up the stairs to my apartment, opening that door too and dropping the keys on the end table before flicking on the light.
I stepped into my small space and sighed, the familiar coziness like a warm embrace.
“You good?” Robin asked as I tossed my clutch onto the couch. “Want help getting your shoes off or anything?”
I smiled a lazy smile and shook my head, ambling back over to wrap her in a tight hug. With my heels on, I towered over her by a good three inches. Her hair smelledamazing. Like cotton candy and bubble gum.
“Thanks for getting me home,” I mumbled with a sigh. “You can black out on my couch any time.”
She chuckled before pulling away. “Noted. Drink a glass of water before you fall asleep, yeah?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I still had to take off my makeup and brush my teeth anyway. I didn’t care how drunk I was—even drunk me knew waking up with clumpy mascara and sour alcohol breath only made the morning after worse.
“And no drunk dialing Hot Chef McFart Face,” she added, leveling her finger at me.
I huffed. Like I would ever call him for anything again. I was done with him. Not that there was anything to be done with in the first place.
The door clicked shut behind Robin, and I flipped the lock before shuffling into the kitchen. Grabbing a cup, I turned on the tap and watched the water line rise in the glass.
What would I even say to Jase anyway?
Nothing. Except that he was being a total dickwad who deserved for his showers to run cold every morning.
I chugged down the water in one go and plunked the glass into the sink, then headed for the bathroom.
