Page 101 of Ours to Lose
If my mom’s death had taught me anything, it was that I was selfish, and without trying, that selfishness would lead me to let the people who cared about me down. Better I stayed away than let them care about me at all. Better I loved them from afar than do more damage than I already had.
Aubrey’s fingers threaded my hair, and I parted her lips with my tongue.
One last time. One last time I would be selfish with her. One last time I would take as much of her as she was willing to give me.
I hadn’t waited for her to take the lead, too afraid she wouldn’t. Too afraid she’d say we were friends and I would have to go back to the way we were before New Year’s like I promised her I would.
I wasn’t ready. Not to go back to wanting her from afar like I had since the Thanksgiving before my mom died. Not to give up the taste of her on my tongue and the heady scent of her coconut shampoo or the unrestrained trust she handed me every time I touched her.
Even now, she inched forward on the couch, trying to get closer as if being with me made her feel as whole as being with her did me.
I scooped her onto my lap, and she squeaked as I stood, wrapping her legs around my waist as I trailed kisses down her neck.
“Your shoulder,” she said, barely grazing my left arm with her fingers.
“It’s okay.” I sucked below her ear and strode for her bedroom, the pain in my shoulder dulling against my need for her.
She pressed soft kisses along my shoulder as if to make it better. If anyone’s touch could, it would be hers.
I eased us onto her bed, bracing myself over her on my right arm, and kissed her again. Her hands snaked around my torso, pulling more of my weight onto her, connecting us from chests to hips. I was hard, my erection nestled between her thighs, but even that felt secondary to kissing her. Holding her. Existing here with her.
“Let me feel your skin?” I murmured against her lips.
Her nod was instant, her hands already peeling off my T-shirt.
I sat back to pull it over my head, then ran my hands along the soft rise of her stomach, lifting her shirt’s hem as I went, revealing each of her tattoos. She arched her back so I could free her from it completely, no bra in sight.
“You’re beautiful,” I said as I drew my thumb across one breast. My tongue followed, swirling over her nipple before switching to the other, her chest rising and falling with quickened breaths.
She scraped her fingers lightly over my scalp, sending a shiver down my spine that tightened my balls and made my cock throb.
Moving lower, I kissed the vines and butterflies tattooed along her ribs, then dragged my lips across her belly to reach the daisies on her hip. I worked the waistband of her pants down, kissing each inch of newly discovered skin, sucking briefly on her clit, committing every part of her to memory.
Only when I had her completely naked did I bother with my own pants. I almost kept my head between her legs all night, not wanting to give up her taste or her wetness on my tongue, but I needed the feel of her body against mine more.
Her eyes devoured me as she slid her gaze over my torso and below my waist before quickly bringing it back to mine.
We stayed there for a moment, watching each other. Both fully bare and at our most vulnerable. Both not hiding, letting the other see.
Being seen by her was better than any sex. And sex with her…
I couldn’t wait anymore. I lowered myself to her, my eyes falling closed at her softness. Her smooth skin. The warmth of her body and the clasp of her thighs. I opened my eyes and looked into her hazel gaze, rocking my hips to feel more of her.
My length slid over her clit, and we both groaned. I did it again, raising goose bumps along my skin.
“You still have those condoms I gave you?” I whispered against her lips. She’d wanted a few on hand in case I ever forgot one or we needed extra. Her tongue slid into my mouth as my cock slid along her slit. My body shuddered. I wanted to bury myself in her heat and never leave.
“Yeah, but—” She moaned, rocking her hips to meet mine. “Not yet. Keep doing this. God, you feel so good.”
Fuck, so did she. I dropped my head to the mattress alongside her cheek and drew back my hips, rocking forward in one long glide, letting her feel all of me. My cock was coated in her arousal, our bodies growing sticky with sweat, and for a moment, I imagined what it would be like to slip inside her bare. To have absolutely nothing between us. To empty myself in her and give her all of me in a way I hadn’t with anyone else.
It was enough to let myself imagine other things. That I’d won the tournament and gotten my gym. That my dad and Evan both had been in the front row, celebrating with me. That when Aubrey jumped into my arms to congratulate me, I’d kissed her like I was kissing her now. With my whole body. Unrestrained. Not hiding any of how I felt for her.
I let myself imagine one day being married. Let myself imagine Aubrey being that wife. That I was making love to her as her husband. Her partner. That we were sharing a life together. Raising kids together. Chasing the things we both wanted, together.
Teammates.
Life mates.
