Page 106 of Ours to Lose
To an airport terminal and a shitty hotel, its thin walls the only thing standing between me and devastation.
My hands shook, my body getting ready to pull up the same defenses. One look at Evan told me he was doing the same.
Except where I’d barricaded myself from the worst of the storm, he’d been caught dead in its center. Both times.
As hard as I gritted my teeth against the familiar terror, the onslaught of worry and helplessness and straight-up fear, it had to be worse for him. He’d sat in this very hospital while our mom got sicker and witnessed her fade. Had watched our dad collapse in front of him and get rushed away on a stretcher.
He’d faced it. Carried what I hadn’t.
I wouldn’t let him face it alone again.
I met his gaze, his blue eyes as gruesome as the downpour beyond the wall of windows at our side. “What do you need?” I asked.
His nostrils flared, and his jaw flexed.
Then his wall of stone crumbled.
I reached him in five steps and caught him as he collapsed in my arms. His hands clung to the back of my shirt, twisting it in his fists as his tears soaked my already wet collar. I held him to me while sobs rattled his body, letting him fall apart. My own tears filled my throat.
We both needed our dad to come out of surgery.
We both needed him to be okay.
We both needed not to face another goodbye.
We both needed each other too.
I didn’t know how many of those we would walk away with at the end of this. But I would stand here, holding us up until I couldn’t stand anymore.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Aubrey
It tookme twenty minutes to get to the hospital. I’d considered taking a cab, but the rush-hour traffic meant driving would take as long as the subway, and sprinting through the stations at least made it feel like I was getting there faster. I tried calling Evan on the way, but he didn’t answer, leaving me with nothing but his single text to go on.
Evan:Dad had a heart attack. At Philly Memorial
I could strangle him. He’d always been brief in text, but he could have at least let me know how bad it was, his dad’s current status—something.
Beneath the fright, I recognized he probably didn’t know much more than I did and was dealing with doctors and paperwork and shock, all while trying not to have a panic attack from being back in the hospital where his mom had died. It was why I hadn’t kept calling. The best way for me to figure out what was going on was to get there.
I did try calling Gabe, but his phone went to voicemail too, and I didn’t want to leave a message about this. Not until I had more information.
It turned out I didn’t need to. He was already in the waiting room when I found the right one, with Evan slouched in the chair beside him.
The picture tugged at my heart, throwing me back to theme park trips and visits to the museum growing up when they would sit side by side on a bench just like that. Except those times, Evan had usually beamed up at his big brother, laughing at something Gabe said.
Now, they both looked drained. Two worn rags with every drop wrung out.
They lifted their heads as I approached. Evan’s eyes were red and puffy.
“How is he?” I asked, bracing for the worst.
“In surgery,” Evan said. “No word yet how it’s going.”
Surgery.A thousand thoughts had to be running through his head from that one word. At least that many ran through mine, few of them comforting.
Before I could think of what to say, Gabe took Evan’s hand in his and squeezed it. More surprising still was Evan squeezed it back.
