Page 108 of Ours to Lose
Professionally, these had been the toughest months of my life. Tougher even than after my grandma and Mrs. Hardt had died.
Back then, work had been a refuge from the grief. Something I could sink into the tempo of since I wasn’t the one leading the ship. Every little decision hadn’t come down to me. I just did what I was told, even if the one giving the orders was an egotistical prick.
This was the first time I’d had to navigate things on my own, and in what had sometimes felt like floating alone at sea, Gabe had been my inflatable raft.
He gave me a doubtful look. “I didn’t do anything.”
“Yes, you did. You helped me prep for that wedding when the guy I hired bailed. You went with me to get menu inspiration and had my back with Christian. You let me vent and made it okay that I missed my old job. You reminded me I still had a team.”
He’d given me the courage to go to Jillian and Jase for help when, before, I would have rather muscled through the frustration on my own for fear of being a burden.
I never felt like one with Gabe. He’d made me feel safe to voice my wants and needs. To let myself have them in the first place.
He squirmed in his chair as I rattled off the list but didn’t argue against it. Which was good. In the same way I needed to let myself accept it was okay to sometimes take from others, he needed to accept he was capable of giving.
Not just capable. Exceptional.
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind how much of himself he would give to his fighters as a coach in Colorado. Envy rooted deep in my chest at how lucky they were.
I was about to ask about the job, since he’d probably gotten more details by now, but a man in dark green scrubs walked into the waiting room.
Gabe and I lurched to our feet as he headed our way, startling Evan from his sleep. He blinked a few times, saw the doctor coming, and jumped to his feet beside us.
The doctor greeted us. “I’m Dr. Cho,” he said, shaking our hands in turn. “I’m the surgeon on your father’s case. He’s doing well.”
Our collective breaths released.
“He was lucky. We had to place three stents in his heart to open the blockages, but so far, they seem to be holding, and his blood flow has improved. I’d like to keep him for a couple of days to monitor him closely, but I have every reason to believe he’ll be fine.”
“When can we see him?” Evan asked.
“We had to put him under general anesthesia, so it will be an hour or two before he’s awake and settled in his room. A nurse will come get you as soon as he is. I’ll check on him regularly throughout the night and will be around tomorrow to talk through any questions.”
“Thank you,” Gabe said.
We shook his hand again and watched him leave.
Evan scrubbed his hands over his face. “I need a sedative.”
“We all need food,” I said. “We should see what the cafeteria has.”
“Maybe one of us should stay here, just in case?” Evan said. “Actually, let me run to the bathroom quick, then whoever wants to go to the cafeteria first can.”
He headed down the hallway for the bathroom, seeming less shaken than before. I doubted he’d actually relax until he was by his dad’s side with his dad awake and talking.
Gabe stared out the window.
“You okay?” I grazed his pinky with mine. The faint touch zinged up my arm, and I curled my hand in on itself to stop from lacing my fingers with his.
He blinked as if coming out of a daze. When his eyes found mine, they were impossible to read. “Can I hold you?”
The question caught me by surprise, twisting my heart, but I recovered quickly. “Of course.”
He could always hold me. Always.
I stepped into his arms, melting under their solid warmth and inhaling the smell of rain that clung to his shirt. I savored the moment, knowing it would be one of the last I’d get in his embrace.
It didn’t stop me from noticing he hadn’t answered my question.
