Page 51 of Ours to Lose
“Hey!” Dani greeted. She was in the end stool that had unofficially become hers during the months leading up to the symposium Ardena had catered. Dani was the event planner for the nonprofit that hosted it and had spent more than a little time here with her laptop, fine-tuning every event detail. Their office had gone remote on Fridays, so she’d probably worked from here today too, which was how she’d snagged the spot before the rush.
“Has it been like this for a while?” I asked as I squeezed in beside her.
“Since about five thirty. If it’s anything like last weekend, they won’t catch a break until midnight.”
I caught a glimpse into the kitchen of Zach and Luis on the sauté line, shuffling pans as they kept up with tickets. A young man with dark brown skin and a head of curls who must have been the new prep cook emerged from the walk-in, two full prep pans in hand, and hurried back to the cold station. Jase stood inside the food window, firing orders and putting up plates, completely in the zone.
“You okay?” Dani asked, watching me watch them. The sudden crush of sadness must have shown on my face.
I forced my lips to rise. “I’m good. Just a long day.”
“Want to talk about it?”
I wasn’t sure I knewhowto talk about it. What—the incredible job opportunity I’d been given was a little bit hard? I missed the comfort and ease of my old job? It felt trivial to say out loud.
This wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. I knew it wasn’t, so why did my throat tighten when I tried to say no to Dani’s question?
It felt like the chaotic rhythm of my life had flipped, and everything usually under my control had left me in the dark. Cooking was a struggle. My composure was breaking. I wanted to curl into myself like a roly-poly until my world went back to spinning normally, but I couldn’t do that here. I refused. I didn’t cause drama at work, and I didn’t let my emotions get the best of me in front of my team.
Even if they didn’t feel like my team anymore.
I could go upstairs to the staff room or Jillian’s office, but then I’d be alone again because, as compassionate and understanding as Dani was, she wasn’t the person I wanted to be with right now.
“I’m actually going to head out,” I said as I realized where I wanted to be. I flashed another forced smile.
“Okay.” She didn’t sound convinced. “If you ever change your mind…”
My expression softened into something more genuine. “Thank you.” I didn’t know Dani that well yet, but she continued to make an effort to include me in her life as much as Jase’s, and I appreciated it. Not every girlfriend accepted their boyfriend’s female friends.
Her lips lifted with a nod.
I glanced one more time at the kitchen that still felt like home, the team I used to belong to moving just as smoothly without me, and left.
The gym doorblew shut behind me, cutting off the wind’s sharp chill with a bang of the latch. I was glad I’d changed into jeans before leaving the prep kitchen. Chef pants sucked at blocking the cold.
It wasn’t much warmer in here. A space heater in the center of the room was trying its best but coming up short against the draft through the broken windows. I adjusted my knit beanie and followed the clanging of metal plates to the far corner of the space.
Gabe stepped to the middle of the weighted bar and tucked his shoulders under, adjusting his grip before lifting the bar off the rack. I watched from the shadow of a pillar as he started a set of squats.
I couldn’t tell you how much weight was on the bar or whether his form was correct, but to me, the steady up-and-down tempo of his movement screamedpower.
Muscles contracted all along the back of his body, carving lines through his arms and shoulders beneath his sweat-darkened tee. His calves bulged with definition, disappearing under the shadow of his ass as he bent his legs and lowered toward the ground.
His ass was…I lost track as his glutes contracted when he stood, and the thought of those glutes contracting as he thrust insidemeparalyzed me with lust.
This was a problem.
The way I craved him couldn’t be okay. That I’d run to him for comfort wasn’t good either. Maybe on its own it would be, but not both. Not emotional comfort and physical release. It was asking too much.
Yet just standing here, my heart felt at ease and my clit swollen, as if the sight of him was enough to quench my desires.
The clang of the bar returning to the rack snapped me back to myself. Gabe bent for a towel and wiped his face.
“That looked good,” I said, abandoning my lurking post. “Shouldn’t you have someone here to spot you?”
One corner of his mouth lifted as his gaze drank me in from head to toe. “Probably. But I’m not going that heavy yet.” He hung the towel over the bar and headed for me. “Noah will be home from training in a couple of days. I’ll wait until I’m with him to go all in.”
My heart pattered faster as his steps brought him close. I curled my fingers over my thumbs to keep from reaching for him and burying my head in his chest. From asking him to cradle me like the ball I wanted to curl into. Even his sweat-soaked shirt looked comforting somehow.
