Page 81 of Ours to Lose
“I’m going to wait outside,” I said, voice already shaky. It was too much. Seeing not only the job I’d left behind but the family too.
I hadn’tlostthemlost them, but I’d lost this. The familiarity of being part of the crew. The simple knowledge I belonged instead of questioning whether I still had a place like I questioned right now. Wondering whether I’d ever be part of a shift drink again if I didn’t accidentally wander into it.
I felt like an outsider, an intruder. A stranger in the place I used to call home, and I couldn’t…I couldn’t.
Evan’s shoulders sank. “Aubrey.”
“Aubrey!”
Shit.
I ducked behind Evan to wipe the stray tear from my cheek before plastering on a smile for Jase. Before I could get a word out, Zach was in front of me, clasping me in a bear hug and spinning me off my feet.
“Happy birthdaaaay,” Zach said, half singing, half shouting the words.
“She’s had two strawberry margaritas,” Evan warned, “so the spinning might be dangerous.”
“Oh, hell yeah,” Zach said as he put me down. “That’s my girl, hitting the party before the party.”
I gave a weak chuckle as I waited for my vision to catch up with me. “Yeah, well—” The room stopped spinning, and my gaze landed on a birthday banner above the drink well. To the right of it, Luis backed out of the kitchen with a cake in hand. “Wait.” My heart took off in my chest, and I glanced at Evan.
He smirked.
I took in the banner, the cake, the group of people all gathered, and gawked at him. “You did this?”
“I helped,” he said, taking on a slightly reluctant tone. “It was actually Gabe’s idea.”
As if summoned by birthday magic, Gabe pushed through the kitchen door, wearing a dark green cargo shirt over a black tee with dark jeans and carrying a plate of chocolate-covered strawberries. His eyes caught mine across the bar, a smile bright in their depths, and the grand finale of a fireworks show went off in my chest.
“What are you drinking, birthday girl?” Neela called to me.
“I heard margaritas,” Neela’s girlfriend, Robin, said. “That calls for a round of tequila shots, yes?”
Zach and a bleached-haired guy with glasses I assumed was his boyfriend high-fived over Luis’s head, who was already arguing with Neela about which tequila she should pour.
Evan nudged my shoulder to guide me toward the bar and into a wave of hugs. Dani hopped off her stool to give me a tight squeeze. “You look beautiful, as always,” she said.
Luis acted unusually shy as I approached, gesturing to the round layered cake covered in chocolate frosting. “I’ve been practicing on dessert station, but this was my first time making this recipe. I hope it’s okay.”
Evan leaned in to whisper, “It’s your grandma’s yellow cake.”
My jaw hung. “How?”
He half rolled his eyes. “I told Gabe where to look for the recipe in your apartment. He texted a picture.”
All of Gabe’s texting this morning—he’d been texting Evan? For me?
I searched for him again but found Jase first, waiting quietly at the end of the bar. He grinned. “Happy birthday, Chef.”
I stepped into his hug and held it, not sure why I was suddenly ready to cry. Then he spoke his next quiet words. “We miss you, you know.”
I tried to laugh, but it caught in my throat, mixing with the tears that had risen. I squeezed Jase tighter, afraid to let go, to let him and everything here slip further from my grasp.
“Let’s have fun, yeah?” Jase said into my hair.
I nodded and took one last deep breath, dabbing my cheek as I pulled away.
“Oh, Gabe, before I forget,” Jase said, turning his attention to the side where Gabe lingered. “My buddy Colin boxes. He’d make a good sparring partner if you’re still looking.”
