Page 84 of Ours to Lose
Something told me if I did that, he wouldn’t show. He was like a wary puppy on the side of the road, and if I approached too fast, he’d run off. I had to let him come to me at his own pace. Let him see I wasn’t here to hurt him. No matter how badly I’d fucked up in the past.
I faced Colin with a stronger resolve than ever. “One more round?”
His mouth curved up. “Let’s go.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Aubrey
I straightenedmy shoulders and stared at the wood grain of Ardena’s office door, running through what I wanted to say once more before finally knocking.
“Come in,” called Jillian’s stern voice, as polished and certain as she was.
Another quick breath, and I turned the handle.
Her back was to me as she adjusted one of the heavy curtains lining the wall of glass doors that led to the office’s small balcony. She seemed to struggle with their height but coaxed them along rather than lose her patience.
“What can I do for you, Aubrey?” she asked without turning. The curtain ring gave way and settled where she wanted it.
“How did you know it was me?”
She waved a hand as she lowered into her plush desk chair. “Fifty-fifty chance. Only you or Jase ever seek me out. The young men are still too intimidated to risk it.” Her mouth lifted as if pleased by the idea.
It was true the best way to quiet Zach or Luis was to tell them Jillian was heading for the kitchen. The same was probably true for the new prep cook, Tyrell.
I’d finally had the chance to meet him on my birthday and could see why he fit so well with the crew. He didn’t have an ego and was willing to work hard. He’d even signed my birthday card.
“My friend at Corvidea said the retirement party was a success,” Jillian said, returning her focus to me. “He had wonderful things to say about the food. I’d say you’ve found your stride. You win this competition, and your name will be on the way to the top?—”
“Jillian, I can’t do this.”
Her mouth snapped shut as alarm etched over her features. It seemed to deepen with each second of silence that stretched between us.
I replayed my words in my head and realized why. “I’m not quitting,” I hurried to clarify.
Her shoulders lowered an inch.
“But you keep saying all these things about how great I’m doing and how successful I’m going to be, and that couldn’t feel further from the truth.”
She pursed her lips but didn’t interject.
I swallowed against my dry mouth. “I’m struggling.”
Admitting it felt like prying a knife between my ribs and popping them open like a clamshell, revealing the seeping mess I’d been trying to hold together these past months.
I hated for her, of all people, to see it. The last remaining woman in my life who I looked up to, whose strength I strived to carry. I never wanted her to see where I was weak. To be a burden she had to carry, especially when it came to her business. But it was true.
“I’m struggling to keep up with events on my own,” I said. “I need a team, and I’m struggling to find one. I feel like I’ve searched everywhere, and without another pair of hands, I know I can’t sustain this. And I’ve been splitting my time looking for a chef and trying to come up with a menu for the competition, but it’s like without one, I can’t do the other. I’m so sorry, Jillian. I don’t want to let you down, but I need your help.”
By the time I finished, my hands were trembling and a bitter taste lined my tongue. Somehow saying all that was more difficult than the craziest dinner service I’d ever worked. It had easily been five times scarier.
But Jillian simply smiled. “About damn time.”
It was my turn to be confused. “What?”
“I was nineteen when I started my first business,” she said as she wiped nonexistent wrinkles from the lap of her skirt. “You know what happened?”
“You sold it?” I guessed. Wasn’t that what super-successful entrepreneurs did?
