Page 11 of Letters From a Broken Heart
“I have been.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself. Crap. She’s going to ask questions and I'm not sure how I'm going to get out of it.
“Who? I’ve been your best friend since we were little and I’ve never seen you pining after a girl.”
“Because no one pines after anyone, Taylor. What are you, eighty?” I drop onto the couch, leaving space between us. I need to keep the walls in place between us because it’s way too easy to forget we can't be together when it’s only the two of us.
“C’mon, Easton. Tell me who you had a crush on.” She steeples her hands in front of her face and sticks out her bottom lip.
“It doesn’t matter. Let’s just eat our food.”
“Of course it matters. Was it Melissa? Stacy? Heather? Oh, who else was pretty in high school?” She taps on her chin, trying to think back an entire decade.
“I’m not going to tell you, even if you do guess correctly. Though I really don’t think you’d ever guess who it is.”
“Well, that’s not fair. Why won't you tell me?”
“Because it doesn’t matter, Tay. I can't have her anyway. I lost her a long time ago and she’ll always be just out of reach.”
Chapter 6
Taylor
My brows furrow as I stare at Easton. Who could it be? Did he lose a girlfriend in the past to someone else? I don’t remember him ever dating anyone or showing any sort of interest in anyone.
“I'm sorry,” I whisper as I scoot closer to Easton and hold onto his bicep as I stare up at him. “You’ll never lose me, I promise. You’re stuck with me for the rest of your life.”
“And you’ll always have me, sweetheart.” His gaze softens as he stares down at me and if I didn’t know better, I swear there was love staring back at me. But there’s no way. Not like that.
Sure, Easton loves me like a friend, but he doesn’t love me as anything more… Right?
I had the biggest crush on him when we were younger. I started to play outside more and more when I noticed the cute boy next door. I just wanted to get his attention, but it seemed almost impossible.
His head was almost always down. He had his nose stuck in a book or he was tinkering with tools in the garage. A few times, I caught him staring at me and I was so excited. When I’d wave or smile, his cheeks would turn a deep red and he’d drop his gaze again. I figured he didn’t like me.
Sometimes I’d see him chasing his younger brother around the yard. They’d fight with wooden swords or spray each other with water guns. They always looked like they were having so much fun and I wanted to be a part of it.
As soon as Jack saw me the first time, he came right over and asked if I wanted to play. I wanted to, but I was nervous to meet new kids my age. The only reason I agreed was because I figured maybe Easton would notice me then.
That day changed my life. I spent more of my waking hours at the Maxwell’s house than I ever spent at my own house. Any time I could steal away with Easton was worth it. Sometimes we’d sit in the treehouse and read in silence. That only happened when Jack was busy. I swear it wasn’t possible for Jack to sit still and be quiet. He just didn’t know how to.
Other times, we’d swim in the creek behind the house or lounge around and watch movies. No matter what we were doing, I was happy if Easton was there.
When I was sixteen, I finally gave up hope. There were several times that summer I thought Easton was going to kiss me or ask me out, but then he would take a step away or change the subjectto safer territory. So, I accepted he would always be just a friend to me.
It sucked. I didn’t want to be friends with him. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. I thought about throwing my arms around his neck and kissing him. Just taking a chance and seeing what would happen, but I was terrified of ruining everything between us.
Two days before school started that year, Jack asked me out. He seemed desperate and I didn’t know what to do, so I said yes. If I couldn’t have Easton, Jack was the next best thing, right?
I was worried Jack wouldn’t want to be friends if I told him no, so I took a chance and told him I’d be his girlfriend. It wasn’t that I didn’t like him or didn’t find him cute, I just liked Easton more and found him drool worthy.
Easton was my dream man. Everything about him was exactly what I wanted in my future boyfriend or husband. He was perfect for me and where I saw my life going.
When Easton climbed the stairs to the porch a little later that day, I wondered for a few minutes if I had made a huge mistake. He looked livid, yet hurt to see us sitting together, holding hands. He refused to say anything even when I questioned him.
I almost called him out on his behavior. I contemplated following him inside and finding out what was really wrong with him, but it seemed pointless. So, once again, I gave up hope on ever having Easton Maxwell as more than a friend.
I swallow hard as emotions swell inside of me, begging to be released through my tears. I feel like such a terrible person. I loved Jack and I always will. The last thing I should be thinking about after he gave his life to save mine is how much I wanted Easton to ask me out and not Jack.
I'm such a horrible person.
