Page 28 of Letters From a Broken Heart
“I think you broke me, East.” Another step towards him.
“I wonder how I can fix you,” he murmurs, taking his own advancement towards me.
“You probably need to hold me while I sleep.”
“I'm sure I can handle that.” He takes another stride.
“And spend at least six hours with me a day.”
“We might have to set up an office and work at the same time then. Spend all of our hours together.” One more step, leaving us only a few inches apart.
“I think I can handle that,” I whisper as my chest rises and falls a little faster. I take the initiative and close the distance between us. I place my hands on his bare chest and stare up at him, waiting to see what he’s going to do.
“It would probably be easier if we lived together. Cheaper too.” He doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around my waist and let his hands settle on my lower back. His warmth seeps through my clothes and heats my body. It feels so good to be pressed up against him. To have this sort of contactwith him.
“What if I can't stand sleeping in his room?”
“I don’t want you to sleep in his room, I want you in mine,” he growls, making butterflies fill my stomach and make my heart beat even faster.
“What are we doing, Easton?”
“I don’t know, but right now I'm fighting not to kiss you.” He cups my cheek with his hand, letting his long fingers thread through my hair a little bit.
I lick my lips, giving myself a second to process his words. I'm not sure how I should respond… Or if I should respond at all. Easton’s eyes darken as they trace the movement, his eyes locked on my lips.
“Why are you fighting it?” My voice is barely a whisper. It’s full of need and desire, but I can't be the one to make the leap. I need to let him do it.
“Because today isn't mine. Today is the last day he gets of you. I'm not letting something start between us when you’re his for a few more hours.” He lets his hand fall away from my face and he releases his hold on me. His eyes are locked on mine as he takes a step backwards, keeping his chin held high.
I take a deep breath and try to calm my racing heart. I thought he was going to kiss me and I wouldn’t have stopped him. I place my hands on my stomach and squeeze my eyes shut. When I open them, Easton’s standing in front of me with a t-shirt in his hands. He’s put on a pair of gray sweatpants, like that somehow is going to make him less attractive.
“Thank you,” I say softly as I take the shirt.
“I’ll let you get changed. Do you want to relax on the couch for a little bit?”
I nod my head, unsure of what else to say. I know I'm not fully over Jack, but my chest aches with rejection right now. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to feel loved and cherished like only Easton can make me feel.
I know how special he makes me feel when I'm just his friend, I want to know what it’s like to have him as more. To be his everything and know his sole focus is on me.
“Don’t get stuck in your head. Change into my shirt, then come out to the living room.” He presses a soft kiss to my forehead before exiting the room.
I don’t bother shutting the door, I know he won't be back. I don’t even give myself a second to breathe. I'm tired of thinking. Of feeling. I just want to live and this is the first time I’ve felt alive in months.
I strip out of my clothes and toss them in Easton’s hamper. He’ll wash them and give them back to me or put them in the closet, just like he always does. I pause as that thought washes over me. Jack never washed the clothes I left here, Easton did. All along it’s been Easton who treated me like his girlfriend, not Jack. Jack always continued to treat me like a friend. Even most of our kisses were quick pecks. The only times he’d kiss me like he was my boyfriend, he was drunk.
Slipping Easton’s shirt over my head, I lift the neck of it and inhale deeply. It smells so much like him and it brings a smile to my face. He’s always smelled so good. Like old leather and spices.
After grabbing a pair of shorts, I take slow steps into the living room. His attention is on the TV as he searches the streaming platforms he has and tries to find something to watch.
“Do you want to watch anything in particular?” He asks without glancing in my direction.
“Whatever you want is fine with me.”
My thoughts stray to his words from earlier. Does he really want me to move in with him? I’d love to be out of my apartment and I’ve always loved his house, but is that stupid? Is this too fast? What will people think?
If we take this leap, we both seem to be leaning towards, and date each other, what will people say? How do I date my deceased boyfriend’s brother so soon after losing Jack?
“You’re going to be the death of me,” he murmurs under his breath as he scrubs a hand down his face.
