Page 29 of Letters From a Broken Heart
“Maybe I should just go,” I whisper and start to stand, but Easton tugs me back down on the couch and wraps his arm around me.
“Not a chance in this world, Taylor.”
“But I'm making this more difficult.”
“You’re definitely not making it easy.” He glances up at the ceiling. I swallow hard and squeeze my eyes shut.
“How are we going to continue being friends? We both know the truth now. Doesn’t that make it weird?”
“I don’t plan on staying friends with you, sweetheart.” He shakes his head as his brows draw together.
“What?” I sputter out the word as pain spreads through my chest. This hurts so much more than losing Jack. So much more than knowing I only got a working heart because my boyfriend lost his life.
Jack didn’t have a say in leaving me. He was torn away from this world and he didn’t have any control over it. But Easton’s choosing to walk away. He’s pushing me out of his life because he doesn’t want me anymore.
My eyes fill with tears and I rub at the ache in my chest. My fingers brush over the raised incision and my tears come a little faster.
“Taylor, look at me.” Easton reaches for me, but I scoot back, putting some more distance between us.
“No. I want to go home. I'm getting changed, then I’ll order a ride. You don’t need to take me home.” I leap off the couch and hurry down the hallway.
He calls my name a few times, but I don’t stop. I need to get out of here. I’ve never felt this much pain and I know if I don’t leave now, I'm not going to survive this.
I strip his shirt over my head. I throw it over my shoulder, not really caring where it lands. I get my own shirt on and amtugging on my shoes when strong hands grip my biceps and spin me around to face Easton.
“What is going on, Taylor?” He ducks his head until we’re eye level and stares at me. Even now, he’s so gentle with me. He’s careful not to grab my arms too tightly and brushes his thumbs up and down my skin, trying to soothe me.
“You don’t want me here!” I scream as tears trickle down my cheeks. I don’t know how to handle this, I just need to get out of here.
“Yes, I do.”
“No! You don’t want to be friends with me any longer. I’ve healed and gotten through the tough parts of my recovery, now you want me gone. It’s fine. I get it. You don’t want me after I dated your brother. I just want you to know, you always held more of my heart than he did. No matter what, I couldn’t give him my full heart because a large part of it went to you long before I started dating him and I never took it back. I don’t think I ever wanted to give up hope you’d be mine one day.”
“Taylor…”
“I know! I know how screwed up that sounds. I’m an awful person. I agreed to date Jack because I didn’t know how to turn him down. I didn’t want to lose my best friend, but I knew even back then, he wasn’t the man I wanted. I just wanted you, but you never made a move. I figured he probably talked to you before he asked me to be his girlfriend and you didn’t stop him. Back then,you didn’t want me and you still don’t. I'm just making a fool out of myself and I'm going to stop. Have a good life, Easton. I’ll make sure to take care of myself so you don’t need to worry about me.”
“You’re not pushing me out of your life, Taylor,” Easton growls. He walks me backwards until my back hits the wall and I let out a loud gasp as the cold drywall shocks my skin.
“Why do you care? You don’t want me!”
“You’re all I’ve ever wanted! What is going on with you right now? I told you I loved you earlier today. I told you I want you to move in and sleep in my bed.” He slams his fist into the wall next to my head, making me jump.
I know Easton would never hurt me, but I’ve never seen him this upset. Even now, I'm not scared of him, just surprised.
“How does that translate to I don’t care about you?” His voice softens and he lowers his forehead until it’s pressed against mine. “How can you possibly think I don’t want you?”
Tears splash onto my shoulders and chest. I ignore them until I realize they aren’t mine. They’re Easton’s. I squeeze my eyes shut as I try to slow my breathing and heart rate. I'm being irrational and I need to calm myself so I can fix this. Emotions are high and have been for months now. I feel like I'm constantly either clinging to him or screaming at him. He deserves better than this.
“You said you don’t plan on staying friends with me,” I whisper. “You don’t want me anymore.”
“I want you more than ever before, but not as a friend. I want to make you mine, baby.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest. My body shakes with tears as I release the tension that was building inside of me.
“Why are you crying? What can I do to make you feel better?” Easton drops his head into the crook of my neck and inhales my scent deeply. “Please, baby. I hate seeing you upset.”
“I just need you to hold me.”
