Page 48 of Letters From a Broken Heart
How did everything go wrong in just a matter of minutes?
When I walked into my parents’ house, I thought everything was great. I never believed telling them Taylor and I were dating would turn out the way it did. Honestly, I haven’t even had time to process Mom telling me she wished I had died instead of Jack. Though I'm sure that’s going to sting when it finally sets in.
I was too focused on getting Taylor out of there. Too focused on protecting her. But as soon as she whispered my name so weakly, I knew something was wrong.
I felt like my entire life was flashing before my eyes andI’ve never been so terrified.
“Taylor, I'm going to take you to where you’ll have your biopsy.” A young woman smiles from the foot of the bed. “She’ll be back in about thirty minutes to an hour. You can wait here for her,” she says to us.
I’m out of my chair and hugging her before I can stop myself. I don’t know if I'm going to make it through the next hour. I can't stomach the thought of her body rejecting her new heart. What happens then?
Did I finally get the girl, only to lose her?
Wouldn’t that be ironic. Even in death, Jack would still take her away from me.
“I love you, baby. I’ll be right here when you’re done.”
“I love you too.” She squeezes me back just as hard and right before they wheel her away, she presses a kiss to my lips.
I collapse into the chair and hang my head. I need to be strong for her, but I feel like the last hour zapped the energy out of me.
“She’s going to be ok, son. She’s strong and she’s not giving up now that she finally has you.” Dad places his hand on my back and rubs slow circles like he used to do when I was little.
“What do you mean?” I lift my head just high enough to meet his gaze.
“I might stay quiet most of the time, but I'm not an idiot. That woman has always loved you fiercely. Jack tried his hardest to take her away from you, and he might’ve for a little while, but she always belonged to you. I'm glad you both finally figured it out.”
“You’re not mad we’re dating?” I sit up a little straighter.
“Mad? Why would I be mad? Taylor Gaines has been like a daughter to me since the day she started following you and Jack around.”
“Because she dated Jack first.”
“I’ll always love Jack…” Dad lets out a long sigh and scrubs a hand over his face before he continues. “Jack was always… difficult. He never wanted to share and he always had to get his way. He didn’t love Taylor the way a boyfriend loves a girlfriend. I knew that from the beginning. A few times I approached him about it and told him to end the relationship before he broke her heart. He always said he was working on it. What else was I supposed to do? I couldn’t break up with Taylor for him.”
“But Mom…”
“Yeah, she has a lot of apologizing to do. I don’t want to say losing Jack was harder on her, because it was hard on me too, but I think she connected with Jack more than she’s ever connected with you. Just like I’ve always connected more with you than Jack.”
“I'm not coming over again. She can't talk to Taylor that way.”
“I understand that and I don’t blame you one bit. I hope neither one of you hold her words against me. I'm happy for you. I'm proud of you, Easton. You’ve turned into such an amazing man. I know you’ll be a wonderful husband to Taylor and an amazing father to your future children.” He runs a hand through his hairand takes a moment to think through what he wants to say before he speaks again.
It used to drive me up a wall whenever he did this when I was little. The waiting always killed me. Now, I like knowing he’s thinking through his words before he speaks.
“She doesn’t hate you and she doesn’t wish you’d died in place of Jack. She loves you and wants what’s best for you, but her pain and misery over losing Jack is slowly eating away at her. She doesn’t want anyone to be happy. She doesn’t want anyone to move on. I think it’s because then she’ll feel like there’s something wrong with her. Most days she still can't get out of bed. I finally convinced her to go see a therapist, but it will take some time. She’s struggling a lot.”
“That doesn’t mean-” I start, but he cuts me off.
“No, that doesn’t mean she gets to speak to either one of you the way she did today.” He shakes his head. “As soon as you walked out the door she collapsed to the ground and started sobbing. I told her she might’ve just lost her only son she had left and she needed to fix things. When I heard you screaming for me, I told her not to come, but she wanted to. I figured you both needed space from her and if she came, things would be even more tense. I didn’t want Taylor to struggle more than she already was.”
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“She’s going to regret what she said. I guarantee she’s already regretting it and trying to figure out how to fix this. But she needsto do it on your terms and Taylor’s. She said things she can’t take back and she needs to work to fix these relationships. Not only do I not expect you to forgive her instantly, I don’t want you to.”
“Why?”
“Because she can't treat people like crap because her son died. She can't speak before she thinks about how her words are going to affect others. I'm not letting her get away with being a monster and expecting people to forgive her so easily. I won't put up with it. She needs to understand her actions have consequences and eventually she won't be able to apologize her way out of something.”
