Page 41 of Letters From a Broken Heart
“I love you too. Now, keep reading. I'll be hungry soon and I know you won't want to stop reading until you’re finished with all of them.”
He scoots lower on the bed until his head is resting on the pillow, then he removes one hand from behind his head and places it on my thigh. He tucks his fingers between my thighs and closes his eyes again. He’s silently giving me support without touching me enough to make me cry and I appreciate it.
I turn the page and keep going.
Taylor,
You’ll always just be out of my reach. Just a little too far away.
Do you know how hard it is to watch you get all dolled up for a date, knowing none of it’s for me? Seeing you fret over what to wear or how to style your hair, when it’s for him? I swear every time, it kills a little bit of my soul.
It’s even more frustrating knowing he isn't taking you on real dates. He’s letting you tag along while he does whatever he was going to do withoutyou. He doesn’t take you for romantic dates. He doesn’t put in any effort or get dressed up. He doesn’t care the way I would.
I can hug you, but not for too long. I can kiss your forehead, but never your lips. You’re always around, yet you aren’t mine. I can't curl up with you on the couch or wrap my arms around you from behind. No matter what, you’ll never be mine and it’s going to kill me slowly.
-E
“Easton…” I barely get his name out as tears choke me up. I didn’t know I was hurting him this much by dating Jack. I never would have agreed to it. I really thought I was reading him all wrong and he didn’t want me.
“We can't change what happened.” He squeezes my thigh. “You’re mine now. That’s all that really matters.”
Taylor,
Some days I sit and watch you dance around the yard. For the briefest moment, I can pretend he didn’t steal you away from me. I pretend I still have a chance at having you as my girlfriend.
I can never stop the smile from spreading across my lips when I get those moments with you. It feels like everything is right in the world and the weight on my chest disappears.
But then he jogs across the yard and takes you in his arms. He spins you in a circle until you’re giggling. He dips you low and presses a kiss on your lips.
That’s when I duck back inside and focus on something else. Anything else. Because seeing you two together is like a knife straight through my heart every time. It doesn’t get easier. It doesn’t hurt less. Each time I feel thebetrayal like a fresh wound.
-E
I remember the moments. I’d see him peeking out from the garage and I’d pretend I didn’t notice him. But I always noticed Easton Maxwell. I knew if he entered a room without looking. My body was so in tune with his, I could feel him.
“I knew you used to watch me dance in the yard. I used to dance in a spot I knew you could see from the garage,” I whisper.
“What? Seriously?” Easton peeks an eye open and stares at me.
“Yes, I wanted you to pay attention to me. Eventually you’d stick your head out and watch me, but it never lasted long. I swear Jack would wait for that, then run out to see me. Any time you weren’t home, he left me alone.”
Easton mumbles something under his breath about Jack being a jerk and I just smile. No matter what, there will always be hard feelings between them, and Jack’s death isn't going to change that.
If anything, I think it makes it more difficult because we can't get the answers we want from him.
Taylor,
I don’t blame you for saying yes when Jack asked you out. If you liked him, there was no reason for you to turn him down.
What I'm angry about is Jack’s actions. He knew I was in love with you. He knew I wanted to ask you out. But he’s Jack. He gets his way every time.
He purposely asked you out before I could. He made sure you were unavailable so I couldn’t have you. He didn’t care about you, he just didn’t want to share you with me.
That’s what hurts the most. Being betrayed by your own brother.
-E
“I'm sorry you had to deal with the betrayal. You probably felt like I betrayed you too.”
