Page 42 of Letters From a Broken Heart
“In the beginning, yes. I quickly realized there was no way for you to know how I felt though.”
“That summer… I thought you were flirting with me and I was definitely loving it. When Jack asked me to be his girlfriend, I thought you didn’t want me. I knew he’d say something to you before he spoke to me. Then your reaction when you found out… I wondered if I was wrong, but there was nothing I could do at that point.”
“Yeah, I made the mistake of telling Jack I was going to talk to you and the rest is history,” he grumbles.
Taylor,
It feels like a cruel joke for Jack to ask me if I want to take you to prom. Of course I do! I want you to get all dolled up in a fancy dress and know it’s all for me. To know you put so much time into looking amazing for me. But you wouldn’t need any of it. Even if you still had that old t-shirt I ruined with my greasy hands when I stopped you from falling and you wore that with old, ripped jeans, you’d still be the most beautiful woman in any room.
I wanted to take you to prom, but not because you took pity on me and were going with me because Jack asked you to. I wanted to take you, knowing you were mine. Knowing I could take you in my arms and dance around the room. Knowing I could kiss you at the end of the night and finally ask you to be my girlfriend.
But none of that can happen when you’re dating him. You’d only be going with me out of a sense of obligation and nothing more. I don’t want to be pitied by you, sweetheart.
-E
“I wish Jack had just told us what was going on. It could’ve saved all of us so much time and misery,” I say on a sigh.
“That wasn’t the Jack way of handling things. If he had come clean, he would’ve looked like the bad guy. He risked losing his relationship with both of us in the process. He wanted to do it slyly or have someone else fix his mistake. That was the only way he did things.”
I nod my head as I flip the page. Easton isn't wrong. Jack rarely cleaned up his own messes and when he did, it was done secretly and in a way you’d never realized he screwed up to begin with.
Taylor,
When you fell off the stool today, I swear my heart leapt into my throat. I was terrified you’d gethurt. I don’t think I’ve ever moved that quickly in my life, but I was willing to do anything to make sure you were ok.
When my hands wrapped around your tiny waist… It was so hard to remember you weren’t mine. It took every ounce of restraint I had to not pull you even closer and claim your lips with mine.
I live for the moments you spend with me in the garage. It’s the only time I get you completely to myself. The fleeting moments I can pretend Jack didn’t steal you away from me.
I just wish there was a way to make you mine for real.
-E
“I'm yours now,” I whisper as I lean in and press my lips against his.
Easton doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around my waist and tug me closer, refusing to let me go. He deepensour kiss and this time it’s hungry and needy. He’s showing me all the emotions he’s kept bottled up for years. He’s making me feel more desired than I’ve ever felt.
When he realizes I'm not trying to end our kiss, he slips his hands under my shirt and begins massaging my back.
“Can you finish reading later?” He murmurs barely loud enough for me to hear.
“Definitely.”
After we’ve eaten dinner, I curl up on the couch next to Easton. He has his laptop on his lap, working on a project that’s giving him trouble at work. I'm happily reading through his journals.
Logically, I knew how he felt about me but to read it like a story is something else. I love it. I'm going to make sure he keeps these forever. I’m sure I’ll go back and read them more times than I can count.
This is our real love story. The messy way we went from friends to lovers and everything in between. It’s not a pretty story, but it’s ours and I love it. More than anything, I love how each entry is written to me.
I open the cover of the last journal. I can’t believe I’ve made it through almost ten years of letters to me. This last one is the most recent and will probably hurt the most to read.
Taylor,
Telling you Jack was dead was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I knew it was going to change things between us. I knew it would drive a wedge in our relationship, but you deserved to know and no one seemed to want to tell you.
I couldn’t sit by and watch the panic fill your features or your mind spin with a million thoughts of where he could be or what could’ve happened to him.
Instead of leaving you wondering, I broke your heart. I flipped your world upside down and knew it would never be the same again.
