Page 134 of The Choices I've Made
Luckily, I had other doctors I’d brought into the practice along with several nurse practitioners. They could take the load until someone else was hired.
When I’d called to let the guy I’d hired to replace me in Ocracoke know I was returning, I swore I’d heard his screams of delight all the way in Chicago. He’d never taken to the island and stayed out of duty.
But I knew he was happy to let it go.
And I was happy to return to my roots.
And Molly.
But there was still one thing I needed to do.
So, with one final kiss, I let her go and headed over to the old blue house where I’d grown up. I quickly ran inside for a small box I knew was waiting for me and then I headed straight for the family garden where there were now two memorials instead of one.
It had been ages since I was in the garden, the last time being the first week I’d arrived for the funeral of my father.
Since then, Terri had taken on the task of preserving his memory, placing a large stone to match my mothers. She’d hired someone to etch his name. Walking up to it, a twinge of guilt hit me firmly in the gut when I saw it, knowing I could have done more.
I should have done more.
Kneeling in front of both, I found myself drawn to my father’s side more, knowing I had much to say to the man I’d shut out for most of my life. I took a moment and gathered my thoughts. Talking to a giant boulder wasn’t the easiest thing to do.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I finally said. “I’m sorry for everything really. For blaming you. For casting you aside.”
I let out a ragged breath.
“I get it now. I do. The guilt you must have felt. I can’t imagine what kind of life you had after she died, especially with an asshole of a son like me.”
My eyes squeezed shut as I remembered all the hateful things I’d said to him.
“Instead of gathering together as a family, I pushed you away, and you died lonely and broken. I guess I was lonely and broken for a long time, too. But I’ve been working on it. Thanks for never giving up on me, Dad, even when I gave up on you. And I hope you and Mom are together and happy. I promise to try to do better by you, to give back to this island as much as you did. And to make a difference every day. And when you and mom are looking down on us from Heaven, I hope you’re proud of the man I’ve become, of the life I’ve chosen. And don’t worry mom, I promise to give you grandbabies soon. I’m working on it.” I smiled to myself.
Rising from my seat, I placed a hand on each stone.
“I love you guys,” I said, rising from grassy spot I’d chosen. With the box still in my hands, I opened it, a single tear falling down my cheek as I looked down at the last remains of my father, a man who left this world too soon.
With little fanfare, much like the man himself, I spread his ashes over the garden he’d loved so much, knowing he’d now share it with the love of his life.
With one last look, I bid my parents a fond farewell. “See you later. I love you.”
Walking out of the garden, I patted the siding of the old blue house, feeling it crumble slightly beneath my hand. I stopped suddenly, an idea forming so quickly I knew I had to act on it right away. Pulling my cell phone out of my pocket, I dialed a local number and made some plans.
“Are you worried he’ll run again?” my sister asked, her pushy voice blaring over the phone.
“No. Well…no!” I replied adamantly. “It’s different this time. We’re different. We both did our much needed soul searching, and now, we have our yin-and-yang thing down.”
“Your what?”
“Our yin and yang. It’s something Mom told me. She gave me this necklace a few years ago—a yin and yang. She explained how she and Dad had to find their balance in life, and so did I.”
“And you think Jake has, too?” she asked.
“Oh, I know he has. You should see him in the clinic now. He loves it. It used to be a prison, and now, he is like the damn Santa Claus of the Ocracoke Medical Clinic. The kids love him.”
“Well, good. I’m glad you found your yang or whatever. Finally. But I will miss our girls’ trips.”
“Who says I’m not going on girls’ trips anymore? I’m in a relationship. I’m not dead.”
She laughed. “Good answer. I was just testing you!”
