Page 18 of The Choices I've Made
Numb to what was happening, numb to what we might discover.
Just cold, hollow, and numb.
My hands shook as I opened the passenger door, seeing the flashing lights outside the emergency room. The air smelled salty and familiar, reminding me of summers long gone. My family had once vacationed in Virginia Beach, just to see how different it was from our own little island.
It was the last beach vacation we took.
I remembered, on the way back home, my father had said, “Why go to the beach when we have one in our backyard?”
I brushed back my unruly blonde hair, but the breeze threw it back in my face. Dean loved playing with my hair. One night, over a bottle of wine, I’d even taught him how to braid it while we stayed up late playing board games.
“You need to know this,” I said.
“Oh? And why is that?” he asked, his husky voice betraying the amusement in his eyes.
“Because, one day, you might find yourself with a darling daughter with hair just like mine, and being the princess she is, she’ll demand it be taken care of.”
“Hair just like yours, huh?”
I turned to him, smiling. “Just like mine.”
It was the first time we’d talked about kids.
It was the first time we’d talked about anything beyond that night.
I’d thought he’d run away, scared, but he never did.
Instead, he’d gotten down on one knee the following morning and asked me to marry him, just like that. That was how our relationship had been from that moment on, easy and uncomplicated.
I’d thought we’d have forever to get to know each other like that. Like lovers rather than longtime friends. But, now, all that was up in the air. So fleeting.
Everything was a blur the moment we entered the hospital. I said my good-byes to Marin as she dashed to the front desk, seeking answers. As I followed Taylor back to the waiting room they had especially for the surgical wing, I couldn’t help but notice the faces around me.
No one had routine surgery this late at night.
There were tears, families huddled in prayer, and tired, confused children who had been ripped from their beds. Some, I recognized. Neighbors and friends from town.
I wasn’t the only one who’d made it off the island to be here for someone. Surely, I wouldn’t be the last. Once news spread, every boat and plane would be put to use, carrying people back and forth. Those tourists stranded on the island would be helped, either given shelter or a way back home.
We never left anyone behind.
Most of Dean’s family was together in that small room, hunched tightly in the corner as they awaited news.
Dean’s mother, Dottie, gave me a hug. “So glad you could make it,” she said, her distinctive Ocracoke brogue standing out against all the other voices.
“I’m thankful for the arrangements,” I replied, holding her in my arms.
I’d known Dean’s family for as long as I could remember. Everyone had. I used to ride past their large house on my ten-speed, wondering what it looked like. Eventually, I’d discovered what lay inside. It hadn’t taken long. Once school had started, the three of us—Dean, Jake, and I—had become inseparable.
It’d turned out, the Sutherland house was just that—an ordinary house. Nothing as extravagant as my young mind had dreamed up, but it was lovely all the same.
Sometimes, I wished I’d never stepped foot inside. Then, the mystery and magic of the place would still remain.
But life had a way of letting us down sometimes.
We grew up and lost the magic of our youth.
We suffered loss.
