Page 73 of The Lies I've Told
I let out a sigh, opening my eyes to the water’s edge spread out before me. “We’re just being casual, Mom. That’s what single people do. Date. It’s not a big deal.”
“Now, why does that sound like a lie?”
Pressing my lips together hard, I thought back to our morning together as I tried to convince myself I could be in a relaxed relationship with no rules.
No future.
No feelings.
But every glance, every smile, and brush of his body against mine had taken away another piece of me. Without even trying, Aiden Fisher was stealing my heart, and God help me, I was letting him.
“I think I’m falling in love,” I said, his face still so fresh in my mind.
“Are you sure?” my mom asked as my head fell to my hands.
“No,” I groaned, making them both laugh. Lifting my head once more, I let out a frustrated breath and answered her question once more, “Yes. But how, Mama? It’s only been a few days. Love, real love,” I emphasized, “can’t happen overnight.”
“Oh, sweetheart, there are no rules when it comes to love. Sometimes, it hits you like a lightning bolt in the middle of a summer storm. Other times, it develops slowly over time. But one does not outweigh the other. When it’s real, it’s real.”
I nodded, feeling disheartened by my revelation. “It’s real,” I admitted. “More real than anything I’ve ever felt. And it frightens me.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure he loves me in return,” I answered, suddenly remembering our conversation from earlier in the day.
“Everyone handles grief in their own way. Some hold on, grasping at whatever they can, trying to keep a sliver of hope alive.”
“And everyone else?”
“They run.”
“Or, if he does, there’s something in the way. I don’t know. I always feel like he’s running in a different direction than me. Why do you think I said it was complicated? He tells me nothing, but I see the pain in his eyes from a past he won’t share. He’s like a treasure chest at the bottom of the ocean with no key.”
“So, be the key, sweetheart.”
“What? Mom, it was just a stupid metaphor,” I said, feeling defeated.
“No, it was actually quite perfect. Unlock the source of his pain, and then maybe you’ll find the way to heal the man you love so that he can love you in return—the way you deserve to be loved.” She paused for a split second, a small smile on her lips. “Because I won’t settle for any less, and neither should you.”
“No, I shouldn’t,” I agreed.
I deserved more.
I deserved love.
The wholehearted, all-consuming kind.
The trouble was? My heart currently resided at the bottom of the ocean with Aiden.
“Be the key,”my mom had said.
Sure, no problem.
“Hey, Mom? Could you maybe write out some directions on this key thing before you leave? Like a treasure map for snagging your man?”
She laughed.
Trouble was, I kind of wasn’t joking.
