Page 110 of The Affair
“Are you going to call him back today?” she asked, closing her eyes for a brief moment.
“No,” I answered stiffly.
“You can’t ignore him forever.”
“I’m not,” I replied. “He stopped calling, and besides, I need to focus on you today.”
“That’s what you said yesterday. And the day before that.”
“Yeah, well…” I stumbled, hating that she was right. “It’s the truth.”
“You could just tell him what’s going on. I’m sure he would understand. I’m sure he would wait—that is, if you want him to.”
Maybe two weeks ago, but now? Now that I’d given him no answers, no source of hope? No promise I’d come back?
I swallowed hard.Did I want to go back?
“Things aren’t that simple between us, Mom.”
“Because he’s Reed’s brother?” She ventured a guess.
“Yes,” I answered. It was an obvious obstacle. “But other reasons too.”
“Like what?” I gave her an exasperated stare, which only prompted her to look around and motion to her body hooked up to the machines. “I’ve got nothing but time, dear.”
But that was the thing. She didn’t have time. Not if this didn’t work.
It was why I was here.
“It’s nothing, Mom. Really.”
She didn’t seem convinced and pressed on, “You can talk to me, you know.”
“I know.”
“We used to talk all the time. Remember that first night home after you moved back in?”
I nodded. “You held me in your arms like I was a child as I wept on your shoulder, baring my soul.”
“Exactly. So, what is so different now? Are you still mad at me?”
“What?” I balked. “Of course not. How could I be?”
“Well,” she began, “I did this. I am the reason we’re here, in this hospital. I’m the reason you’re here instead of home, where you should be.”
“Okay,” I caved, “fine. Yes, I’m still mad at you. For neglecting yourself. For running away to Jack instead of confiding in me.”
“I didn’t run. I just needed a change.”
“You did.” I gave her a sour look. “And believe me, I know the difference. I do the same damn things when life gets out of control.”
“Is that what happened to bring you here? You felt out of control?”
“Yes,” I answered before quickly retracting it, “No. Maybe. I guess I’m just having problems with moving forward with Sawyer, and coming here seemed like a better option than staying there to figure it out.”
She smiled warmly. “See, that wasn’t so hard.”
“What?”
