Page 38 of Campfires & Canines
"Thanks," he answers, waiting for me to continue.
"Okay, so I really like it here and I think I want to stay longer," I say. Not as direct as I would like, but I might hurl as it is.
"How much longer?" He frowns. My heart speeds up and blood rushes through my ears.
"Like months. Or maybe long-term?" My voice rises, but I can barely hear myself above the pounding in my head.
His frown deepens. "I'm not sure that's a good idea. You can't put your life on hold. I know what happened was tough, but-"
"That's not it!" I cringe. "I want to live here, get a job and my own place to live." I blurt, all attempts at subtlety abandoned.
"Oh."
Not the answer I'm hoping for. I press on. "Marigold and I talked about being roommates. And she said you might know where I could work."
He studies me, the silence eating away at my resolve. "Hazel." His tone is gentle, but I know where this is going.
"I'll do just about anything. Maybe you need help in your office? I'm good at that stuff. HR, bookkeeping, anything." I scramble to convince him I'm worth keeping around.
"I have people for those things already." My stomach, somersaulting around my heart, suddenly drops.
"I can always find a remote job and work online." My voice is weak. I know I’ve lost, but I can’t stop.
He sighs. "Hazel, you can't stay here."
"Why?"
"This isn't your home. You'll be better off back in California." It's like he punched me. I know this isn't my home, but the rejection stings.
My throat constricts. "I don't feel like that's true."
His mouth turns up in a sympathetic smile. "I'm glad you like it here. But it's not the most comfortable or safest place for you."
Comfortable? As if I was some princess who tantrums over seeing a bug in her bathroom. It’s not like they’re camping in Antarctica out here. I decide to ignore the comfortable and focus on the safest.
"Safety? I'm not a child. I'll carry a flashlight and some bear spray. I can learn whatever," I argue like a petulant teenager.
Heath is losing his patience. He stands. "I'm sorry, Hazel. You need to move on. It's what's best for you."
Tears burn in my eyes. I’ve always cried when I’m angry. Being treated like a child and told I’m incapable of living out here like all these people do, it’s humiliating.
But why would my uncle do this? He’s always been my biggest supporter. He wouldn’t hurt me without good reason. I try to organize my thoughts.
"You didn’t want me here in the first place.” It’s more of a realization than an accusation. I remember his reluctance to allow me to visit.
Heath looks horrified. "No, Hazelnut. Listen, you are my family. I wish we lived in the same area. But this isn't the place for you. You wouldn't be happy here in the long term. And I want you to be happy."
I shake my head. "I-" I can't come up with another reason.
I can't stand the idea of someone else making these decisions for me. Not after wasting the last two years. But how can I try to stay here when my uncle is against it? What if this ruins our relationship and I lose him?
"I'll come visit you more often. We can make it a yearly thing, every summer. But you deserve a city life. Like your dad." He drives the point home.
I wipe a couple of tears away, straightening where I sit.
Heath squeezes my shoulder. "I love you."
It means so much coming from him, my role model and only male relative. Even if he just shattered my confidence. I can't make my voice work, so I nod and try to smile.
