Page 40 of Secrets and S'mores
“You can’t demand answers when you behave like that,” Jasper yells. “You are so fucking lucky it was me there and not Slate.”
It’s too much. She’s the one who wanted to spar. Yes, I lost control, but she beat me! Why is he acting like I tried to murder her?
Maybe because I did exactly that in the past.
I could tell him why. But I already seem weak. I’d rather have his anger than pity.
Memories assault me. Our mother glaring into my eyes, explaining we have to break Hazel. That she will either rise to the occasion or we have to kill her. Telling me to hurt her.
The sight of her blood across the floor.
My breathing accelerates and the world seems to blur. I have to get away. I tug my shirt over my head, and leap right out of my sweats as my black wolf takes over my body.
I lose myself in my canine instincts and let the chaos fall away. There’s just the earth under my paws and the scent of little creatures in the woods. I’m in another pack’s territory and I need to get away to be safe.
My sensitive hearing tracks another wolf following me, but I consider it with the detachment of a predator. They’ll leave me alone once I’m out of their territory. I’m running as fast as I can. No reason to worry or change my path.
The land slopes downhill, and I thread through the trees expertly. My smaller wolf has the advantage, and my pursuer has to slow down. Finally I burst through the trees and leap into the creek. It’s shallow here, but still wetting my belly as a wolf. But something tells me to stop. I shouldn’t go into my pack’s territory either.
The reality of my situation filters in, and I lose my wolf shape. Fur reveals skin, and I’m standing in knee-deep water, without any clothing.
A twig snaps, and I whip around to face Onyx. He raises his hands to show peace, but then lowers them to retrieve a clothing stash. I should walk to him and accept clothing and we can talk about this. But I’m so damn tired.
I sink down on a wide rock and hang my head. It’s hot under my skin, but it doesn’t matter. The water is icy as it swirls around my shins. The contrast grounds me.
“Hey,” Onyx says, wading through the water. He’s pulled on sweats and scrunched them up over his knees to keep them dry. It’s worth raising my head to admire his bare chest. The spiky neo-tribal tattoos arc across his skin like black frost. I’ve never let myself stare at his tattoos before, only quick glances, but now I drink them in. The lines remind me of tiger stripes.
“Do you want clothes?” he asks.
What’s the point? I drop my head again, the shock of my fight bleeding me out until I’m nothing but a husk.
“Ember,” Onyx says. His voice is lower, darker. His shadow moves across me, and I don’t realize until it’s too late. His hand grips my shoulder as the other runs down my back over old scars from beatings. “What are these?”
I scowl at him, and even that seems to take too much effort. “I told you. When you do poorly at training, they beat you. Remember?”
He traces down to the scars on the sides of my thighs. “Can you tell me which wolves did this?”
Grimacing, I snag the shirt dropped over his shoulder and tug it over my head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just how things are.”
“It matters because I need to know who to kill,” he says, the calm in his words scaring me more than any growl or snarl.
Shoving to my feet, I face him. “Oh, get over it. You’re not going to save me. Just because I wanted you to fuck me doesn’t mean you owe me anything, or that this is a relationship.”
His stormy eyes only narrow. This isn’t casual, fun Onyx. The intensity radiating off him takes my breath away.
“You know it’s more than that. And I don’t care if you say stuff like that to push me away. It’s too late for that to work. I know you. And I’m going to do whatever I can to keep you safe.” I gape at him. He lowers hishead until his mouth nears mine. “And I’m going to do everything in my power to make you happy, because I think you’ve had very little of that in your life so far.”
His grip is possessive, his fingers splayed over my skin under the shirt.
“I need to know the truth about what’s happening with my mom and my pack,” I say softly.
“Okay,” he says. I freeze, staring at him. “If you promise to not leave until you’ve discussed things with Jasper and Hazel too.”
“I don’t want to talk with him,” I argue.
“I’ll make sure he’s calm,” Onyx promises, his eyebrows high as he waits for my response.
“Deal.”
