Page 63 of Bitten By Mr. Darcy
“Better never to marry than to marry him,” said Elizabeth with a shudder.
“But Lizzy, you were all set to marry that man,” said Jane.
Elizabeth nodded. “True.” She looked to her husband. “Thank heaven for Mr. Darcy, rescuing me from that fate.”
After dinner, they all sat together, and Mr. Darcy asked Jane questions and she struggled to answer them.
“I am not displeased,” she said, defensive. “Everything is fine, I tell you.”
“But do you think of Mr. Bingley?” said Mr. Darcy.
“Never,” said Jane. “I mean, rarely, anyway.”
Mr. Darcy eyed Elizabeth. “They likely put that into the charm, for her to think little of them.”
“What charm?” said Jane.
Mr. Darcy shook his head. “No, never mind that, Miss Bennet. Tell me, then, what is it you are craving, if you don’t mind?”
“Craving?” said Jane. “Lord, I am very full from that supper you fed me. I want for nothing.”
“There is something you are pining after, though,” said Mr. Darcy. “It is not Bingley, and it is not food, but it is something.”
“Just…” Jane lifted her shoulders, trying to find the words for it. “Pleasure, perhaps? Or gratification? The ability to want something for myself and to go after it, to have it.”
“You feel you can’t do that?” said Mr. Darcy.
“Oh, please, husband, no one can do that,” said Elizabeth, settling in next to her sister.
“No one.” He was stunned.
“Even you cannot have everything you wish,” said Elizabeth. “And you are always and forever denying yourself things.”
“Well, that is not the same thing,” he said. “It is one thing to deny oneself a pleasure one knows will bring momentary joy but longterm pain or pain to others. It is quite another to feel as if one has noabilityto seek pleasure.”
“Well,” said Elizabeth, “we do not have the ability, people like Jane and me. We are wholly dependent on the goodwill of others for our very survival.”
“Oh, please, Lizzy,” he said. “You are being so very dramatic.”
“You broke the entail,” she said. “But before that, we would have been turned out of Longbourn by Charlotte after the death of Papa. She and Mr. Collins would have owned it. We would have had nowhere to live.”
“Mr. Darcy broke the entail?” said Jane. “How did he do that? I thought it was Mr. Collins’s idea.”
“Ought we be doing this in front of your sister?” said Mr. Darcy. “We’re confusing her. I thought you wished me to charm her back to cheerfulness. I shall simply give her a directive to seek out her own happiness.”
“Oh, you cannot do that. You’ll get her ruined and destroyed,” said Elizabeth.
“Ruined,” said Jane, furrowing her brow.
“Well, to seek out her own happiness, but only if it does not endanger her.”
“Which leaves what, exactly? Jane and I were in a position where we had no way to feed and clothe and house ourselves without appeasing others, Mr. Darcy. I’m not sure you can possibly understand that.”
He appeared to be thinking that through. “Well, she simply needs money, then. A dowry. Would you like a dowry, Miss Bennet?”
Jane glanced at Elizabeth. “What is he going on about?”
“You cannot give my elder sister a dowry,” said Elizabeth.
