Page 20 of Xantera
No,he says.But maybe it would be better if I was.
I shake the visual of this man actually nestled against my chest, touching me, somewhere even Malcolm hasn’t bothered to. Maybe he has a necklace as well, picking it up like I am to sweep my fingertips over the deep red vial.
Then do you have a matching one that connects our thoughts?
Wrong again.
I sigh and focus out the window. This man could be in any of the housing units, maybe one step ahead and watching me every time I leave my complex.
I slink back against my chair, away from that clear pane of glass, and curse myself for not turning off the lamp across the room.
Play with me,he taunts,and take another guess. This is the most fun I’ve had in years.
You consider this fun? Guardians, you must be a miserable human. This isn’t actually fun at all.
Don’t lie.That laugh of his, it’s certainly not doing boring things to my stomach as it twists into a knot that pulses behind my belly button.And I’m not really human, now am I?
Not a human? Wouldn’t that be impossible? Aside from the Holy Guardians who need blood to survive, we’re all…
No.
I hear the lullaby play in my head, like a carousel of words that spins around and around and around until I’m dizzy with a horrible possibility, an impossible realization.
Round and round the Monster prowls,
Starved for meat and bone.
Beware its eyes, resist its howl,
Stay within the stone.
Every night, the Monster howls. I’ve become used to that sound, used to the way it raises chills on every inch of my body. It’s as constant as the moon, as the stars, as the Wall itself.
But there is no howling now. I even tug my blanket down to make sure, to strain for a sound that, for once, is not bleeding through the night and scraping down my skin.
There’s only the sound of my own heartbeat, and…
No,I say again, a new type of fear hammering in my bones. There is no howling because the thing that usually howls is preoccupied—with me.You’re the M…Even my internal thoughts seem to stumble over the word.
Go on,he encourages, sounding much too amused.Say the word.
I want to resist, but my mind lets it slip out.Monster.
His amusement only grows. That’s not what I would call myself, but for the sake of your vocabulary, I’ll make an exception for now.
It’s a confession, loud and clear, but still… my brain isn’t catching up to the reality of it. It can’t be. Someone from another housing unit must be breaking every single Cardinal Rule by playing an elaborate prank on me.
His voice drops to a low, teasing octave.I play by my own set of rules. And they aren’t Cardinal.
Prove it.
I told you this was fun, he laughs.Tell me when to stop.
Stop wha—
A howl splits through the air, reverberating against my eardrums, and doesn’t stop. Not when I think it should. Not when it feels natural. Like a tuning fork, it keeps going with no end in sight, and just as you think it must need to run its course by now, it still rings out. The sound lengthens desperately, and I can feel it all the way down to my toes.
Stop!I cry.
