Page 56 of Xantera
A hesitant smirk pulls one side of his face up. “Since when do you go to the Recreation Center to play backgammon?”
I snort, and that thought tickling the back of my mind rises to the top. “Since when have you been in love with Walter?”
“What? I—” he stutters, his eyes flying open. “I’m not.”
“It’s okay,” I insist softly, laying a hand on his arm where the hair is standing on end. My next words are more of a murmur to myself. “I’m certainly not one to judge who you’re attracted to. And maybe…”
Malcolm rolls onto his side, facing me. “Maybe what?”
“Maybe one day, things can be different. We wouldn’t have to hide it.”
His face falters, his voice dropping to a hushed whisper, even though the camera in the living room can’t pick up our already low voices. “What are you going to do, Saskia?”
Taking a deep breath, I slip my hand around his, squeeze tightly, and raise my eyes to his.
“If I’m not here in the morning, just know that I’m glad you were assigned as my partner.”
I close the door to my own bedroom and press my back against it.
Lucan’s howl cuts through the night.
All we can do is wait.
I’m a ball of buzzing energy, my nerves snapping with even the tiniest of my movements.
Another howl, longer this time, settles behind my belly button. The pooling heat calms and frightens me at the same time—because what I feel is longing. A need to be closer to him, a desire to feel that growl against my skin, have it vibrate down to my core.
I climb into my bed with the idea that it will relax me, distract my mind long enough to feel some relief from every emotion compounding on top of each other.
Ineedthe relief.
My hand slips beneath the hem of my pants before pushing back the final layer. My breathing deepens. I close my eyes. And I just let the sound of Lucan’s howling wash over me.
The anxiety melts away. For several minutes, that pooling heat tightens and tightens… until I cry out in tandem with his howl.
I lie there, then, breathing in and out as the realization sinks in—that I just felt the best pleasure of my life, imagining that my hand actually belonged to the Monster.
Shit. I’m in so much trouble. If I can get through tonight, that is.
Throwing off my cover, I jump up and throw on my cloak, then re-pin my badge and slip on my shoes. Any second now, the loudspeakers will announce that it’s time for the Choosing. There’s no more time to wallow in nerves or think about this new… predicament.
Still, I find myself bringing out the necklace and staring at the blood-red vial. Lucan told me to check in with him right before the Choosing, so I try to calm my heartbeat before I finally slip it over my neck. Instantly, the howls from outside my window cut short.
What’s wrong?Lucan hurries out as soon as it settles along the length of my sternum.Why are you breathing so heavily?
I suck in a surprised breath before I fall back onto the bed.Nothing’s wrong, I tell him as mortification spreads across my skin in heat waves. Thankfully, he can’t see me.
But he can—
Ohh, he chuckles out, pure arrogance overshadowing his worry. I can’t shut my brain off, each thought like a firecracker, exploding one after the other. Atsksound echoes in my skull before it travels down between my legs, where I’d imagined him touching me only moments earlier. I clamp my thighs together.You like the sound of my voice in your head?My eyes flutter closed involuntarily at how close he sounds. His voice drops dangerously low.Do you want my help next time, little nightmare? I’d drag moans louder than that out of you—without laying a hand on your body.
Thankfully, a completely opposite and smooth female voice saves me from having to respond.
“Eligible citizens of Xantera, please report to the Blood Moon Palace for the Choosing.”
Drowning her out, his rough, gravelly tone suddenly turns serious.Are you ready?
I have to be.I raise my chin, because what else can I possibly do? This is the only time the Guardians are guaranteed to be looking the other way, preoccupied with their new sacrifices they choose tonight. If I falter now, I’ll have to wait for the rise of the next blood moon, which would bemonths.
