Page 94 of Xantera
“Of course,” I force out.
He smiles. “Excellent.”
And giving my body a last sweep before twirling around, he bursts out the door in the same manner he came, leaving me alone.
My gaze races across the last few pages of my father’s secret journal, the ticking of the clock like a gong in my heart at this point, counting down the seconds until I have to shift. At this point, I crave that connection with Saskia more than any addiction, so I’m not sure I could go much longer even if Ididfeel comfortable leaving her alone this long.
October 28, 52 AX
The Thirteenth Guardian has been telling me more about the nature of his kind as we plan for my pack to breach the Wall. Everything makes so much more sense than it used to.
Vampirevenom, for instance, is a magical substance that interacts differently with a variety of…
“I don’t actually fucking care,” I mutter, rifling to the next page with my jaw clenching. I just want to find out what the hell happened to the Thirteenth Guardian and get back to Saskia. Make sure she’s alright. And get a refill of her colorful presence. Flicking to the last page, my eyes land on a final entry.
November 09, 52 AX
We were supposed to meet at one of the doors of the Wall last night. Graham was supposed to open it for me, but he never showed, and my connection with him went silent.
I don’t know if he betrayed us or was playing us all along or if the other parasites found out and killed him. I’m hoping the latter. At least that way, I wouldn’t feel so fucking stupid.
If anyone asks, I’m going to say the Thirteenth Guardian died in the war. I’ll erase him from my memory, because none of it mattered anyway. It’s over.
It’s not over yet. Just as I reach for my clothes, humiliated and angry, Eleni appears out of nowhere on the other side of my bed.
My anger reflects back at me, her eyes so dark they scare me. She heard what happened from the other side of the door, and she’s not going to let it go.
“I’m alright,” I insist, turning away and hurrying over to my armoire to find a new dress, one that isn’t torn to shreds.
Tears sting behind my eyelids, but I blink them back. Eleni doesn’t need anything more to worry about, and the last thing I want to do is burden her.
“You can go,” I tell her.
But she doesn’t listen. Instead, she waits patiently for me to redress, and even without the ability to speak, I knowshe wants to throw my own words back at me:what the Third Guardian did to you, it isn’t right. Fuck being a Chosen One.
When I’m clothed, I expect her to give a satisfied nod and leave me be. Instead, she nods over her shoulder toward the servant door behind her, and I raise my eyebrows, the tears in my throat swallowed with surprise.
“You want me to go back through?”
She nods.
“You’ll take me to the white drawing room?”
She nods again, this time with her fists curled at her side, and whips around.
I don’t hesitate before following her into the servant corridor. I’ll take help where I can get it, because I don’t think any of this will be possible without it. Not to mention, Lucan is too busy to even keep me company.
It isn’t until we round the second corner that I become brave enough to speak.
“Thank you, Eleni,” I say.
For everything, I don’t say. For not judging me. For not turning me in. For bringing me food and drawing my baths. For standing in solidarity with me, even the tiniest bit.
She waves a hand through the darkness like she’s dismissing what she’s doing for me, as if it’s trivial. But the weight that falls on both of us is crushing.
“Whatever happens, it won’t be for nothing,” I tell her. “I know a secret, one the Guardians think they’ve protected. And as soon as I find it, I’m going to—”
Eleni whips around and smothers my mouth with her palm. Eyes wide, searching my face, she shakes her head rapidly.
