Page 38 of Xantera
I suck in a breath as the same noise echoes in my own mind, wishing I could hate the overlapping of sounds the same way I hate Malcolm’s chewing and snoring. Instead, I find myself only wanting to sink into it, to bathe in goosebumps forever.
He stops all too soon, though, and I find my thighs clenching together as his voice whispers through my mind, like his mouth is pressed right up against my ear.
What do I want from you, little nightmare?A dark, heavy pause hovers between his words.I want you to let me in.
Today is one of the rare days that I don’t feel like healing.
No, that’s not true. I’d still want to be a healer. I just wish I was the healer who was running these tests and studying Odette’s blood under a microscope.
Then I’d be more in control over this situation.
I’ve managed to put all thoughts of last night toward the back of my mind, hidden from the light of today. Besides, I’ve been so busy I honestly haven’t been able to think hard about it anyway.
My frown pulls my lips further down as I stare at my clipboard. The little girl lying on the bed in front of me has a clean bill of health, just like Diggory had. Only I’m pretty sure there’s no way she made herself pass out.
I flip the top page up and look through every lab we ran. Her red blood cell count is still on the lower end of normal. Her hemoglobin and hematocrit are both within the lower range of normal, too, although none of these numbers are alarming enough to warrant keeping her here.
But I still feel uneasy.
Nothing about this seems all thatnormal.
Odette, of course, is all smiles. “Is my mother here to pick me up?”
“Soon,” I say, forcing a smile of my own. “I promise you’re getting discharged today. I just wanted to stop by to make sure you’re still feeling good.”
No matter what I think or say, I can’t defy the order that she be released, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be concerned.
“School tomorrow is going to be so fun,” she exclaims. “Everyone’s going to want to talk to me.”
Morphing my face, I shoot her an overly toothy grin and try to sound optimistic. “You should take it easy too. First day out and all. Maybe take a nap and dream of rainbows.”
“But I want to tell them about all the needles you stuck me with.”
“It was a lot,” I sigh before a forced chuckle comes out. “Wasn’t it?”
Odette shrugs. “It wasn’t so bad.”
A real smile curves up my cheeks this time. I admire her and her resilience. But that’s children, I guess. They’re adaptable—pliable. No wonder we put them in schooling while they’re still young enough to be molded into the box our society has shaped for them. By the time they become adults, they’ll be waving the white flag, too tired to remember why they ever wanted more. Too tired to care anymore.
“Let’s get you out of this bed,” I say.
She scurries to her feet, excitement rapidly controlling her limbs. Her face pales suddenly, and I reach out to grab her waist just as she sways.
The clipboard in my hands goes crashing to the tile floor. The sound echoes around the room like a drum.
“I’m okay,” she insists, laughing. “Just haven’t stood up in a while.”
Her cheeks return to a rosy color, her eyes more alert, but I shake my head and grind my teeth. Every inch of my body wants to hold onto her for dear life. “Promise me you’ll take it easy.”
There’s nothing else for me to say. Nothing else I can do.
No, thereissomething I can do. Just not at the present moment. I have to let her walk out that door, otherwise, I’ll be taken in by a sentry for more questioning. And I doubt they’d send doe-eyed Rosalyn. It’d be a man, one with physical strength, this time.
“I will,” Odette promises as she skips toward the door. “Thanks, Saskia.”
Lucan flutters to the forefront of my mind. I think harder. Stress harder.
If he’s telling the truth, I can’t help but think about the stakes. If he’s right, then it means we’ve been trapped inside the Wall with twelve real Monsters this entire time.
